Broken Pieces

Chapter 8

My world seemed be to be collapsing in on me and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Life itself was becoming too hard to deal with and I started to question if I even wanted to spend another year in this place. I never questioned God before but now I was wondering why he would put me here. Just looking at the last few years of my life, I couldn't help be wonder why me. I feel like I've been through so much more than the average 18 years old. I wanted to get away from being here but that isn't going to help. I'll probably end up going back to selling my body just to survive. I been stopped going to school so I don't even have a diploma to show for. I didn't have the courage to be at school knowing that I probably had sex with somebody's father.

I laid in the bed thinking about the girl in my dream. I had no idea who she was or why she even told me the things she did. I couldn't understand why she told me what she did. The more I repeated what she said, the more I just couldn't understand. I pulled my phone out and called Rakim in hopes that he would make me feel better.

"Hello?" I whispered through the phone once I heard his breathing. I had to be sure I was whispering because I didn't want Daddy to know anything. He cleared his throat.

"Yes?" he asked me. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah everything's okay. I just um... I missed you. A lot and I needed to talk to you," I told him feeling myself tear up. Rakim have always been protective over me and he always watched out for me. With him not being around when I needed him the most just made me need him even more. When my dad died, Rakim came over my house every day and he walked me to school and he even skipped with me when my grief kept me from going. Rakim was one of the very few people who I thought would stay in my corner and be with me.

"I missed you too Ava," he said in a raspy voice. "What's going on?"

"I hope I didn't wake you," I told him. I looked at the time and noticed it was 6 in the morning. The sun was just now starting to shine in the sky.

"Yeah kinda," he said laughing a bit. I heard him maneuver in the bed.

"Well I guess I'll talk to you another time," I sighed.

"No no you good. I was just saying like a nigga don't usually wake up this time of day unless I'm handling business," he explained himself.

"What kind of business?" I asked him curiously.

"You don't need to know all that," he said. I grimaced.

"What you mean I don't need to know? I thought that we were cool," I told him playfully yet serious. I started to wonder what Rakim have going on that he not telling me. I have been lied to too much and I was just getting tired of everybody trying to keep me away from stuff.

"We are cool baby; you just don't need to know all of that right now. Just know I got you and once we get you out you're going to be in good hands," he told me. I smiled.

"So I'm your baby huh?" I asked him. He laughed and didn't say anything else. Nobody has said that to me in a long time and hearing him say it made me tingle inside. I couldn't stop smiling after that.

"You know we never officially broke up that day," he told me. I sighed to myself knowing exactly what day he was talking about.

-------------------------Flashback----------------------------

I sat on the bed as my fingers ran over the cuts I had created in the past few weeks. They were tiny and almost resembled a scratch. I could feel the pain from the marks I made and tears formed in my eyes once again. My eyeballs and head ached from crying so much but I couldn't do anything but cry and cry until I had no more left in me. My hero and my best friend is 6 feet under and the sad thing is I never even got to say goodbye.