A Case Of Identity

Confusions

After the ice-cream fest – Kuroba had won the bet – Shinichi had gone straight to his home at Beika, called out a distracted greeting to Hakase who was putting out the garbage and shut himself in his library.

He'd spent nearly an hour despairing over the fact that when he'd finally seen KID after their subsequent goodbye post the Black Organisation's take down, it had been as Kuroba Kaito – Ran's crush.

After venting out his frustrations on an innocent football, gulping down several mugs of coffee, moping around a bit more and generally trying to ignore his heartbreak, Shinichi decided to crack open one of his numerous Sherlock Holmes books. Ten minutes later, he'd still been staring blankly at the first page and he'd given it up as lost cause.

Usually, in such cases, the person he'd go to was Ran, but Shinichi didn't think he could bear to look at her face now without blurting out Kuroba's identity as KID – as 'Kai'. And that would ruin everything.

Ran had an opportunity to be happy with Kuroba, and his selfish desires would only hurt the both of them, not to mention Kuroba. And Shinichi had no intention of hurting the two most important people in the world to him.

So, picking up the Conan glasses for old time's sake, he went over next door and rang the bell. Shinichi knew that Haibara wouldn't ask, wouldn't push him to tell her anything, unlike Ran.

And he needed that now. He needed her caustic remarks and acerbic personality to ground him. He needed to listen to her dry voice complaining about Hakase's sugar intake and the Detective Boys' most recent case. He needed to hear her demands that he buy her a new brand of lipstick or clutch-purse as a Christmas or Birthday gift.

Haibara was no Ran. But all that she was, she was his friend – a friend that understood parts of him that Ran couldn't even begin to comprehend. She'd seen him at his worst, at his weakest and never judged him. Similarly, he'd seen her at her lowest point and had helped her overcome it.

In that year as Conan, they'd built a bond together. A bond of friendship, of understanding, of compassion. And had he not feared that Haibara would roast him over her Bunsen burner (She certainly had threatened to do so once, despite Conan's arguments that it was logically impossible to roast someone over it!), Shinichi might have even said – a bond of love. But he wouldn't of course, and neither would she – hopeless tsundere that she was.

The door opened, "Kudo-kun."

Haibara gave him an unimpressed look at his state – clothes ruffled with a coffee stain on his shirt; face drawn, hair mussed, piercing gaze absent, Conan-glasses hanging limply in his hand, bare footed appearance – and Shinichi smiled sheepishly.

"Can I crash here tonight?"

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes before stepping out of the way, wordlessly giving her assent and allowing him entry.

***

Kaito had never been one to classify love.

Love was love, be it with a woman or man. Love was equally beautiful and sweet when you directed it towards your parents or your friends. Love was loyalty and care personified when it was showered on animals.

Kaito had fallen in love for the first time, when he was five and his father had gifted him his own, very first dove – whom he'd promptly named 'Shiro' despite his mother's snickers that it was a female and refused to change it. Shiro remained, to this day, the only female dove to have a masculine name and his most loyal companion.

Kaito had realised that he could never grow to love some things in life when he was six and the neighbour's cat had scratched him for daring to pet it. They'd remained friends...no, perhaps acquaintances, but Kaito had never loved the cat again. Especially not since it climbed the wall between their houses and started eating his dinner (A fish!) in his direct line of sight.