Just Quotes

This is not what I've wanted

i used to think i'm free

to do whatever i wanted to

i thought I had control over my life

and didn't have to follow rules

but it was when realisation hit me hard

that i awoke from my dream

i realised i didn't have a chance to speak

and explain to people what i mean

i wanted to fly away

be alone and forgotten

because after all the miserable things i saw

i knew people's heart was rotten

i tried to run away from the truth

but it would keep holding me back

i tried to break through the chains

but to follow, there was not track

i knew i was alone and depressed

but there was nothing i could do about it

so i tried to remember who i was

years back, when i was a little kid

but the memories only seemed to make it worse

and tears streamed down my face

i saw the creepy darkness all around me

and wondered where had gone the light of days?

but how much can a person possibly cry

to remove all those bottled up feelings?

so i took a blade and cut out places 

for the pain to flow along with the bleeding

i thought i'd feel better

as the blood dripped from my body

and as the days passed, i tried to hide the scars

and tried to maintain steady

i thought things would finally get better

and i wouldn't have to cut again

i kept expecting the days to get brighter

and the sunny breeze to feel softer on my skin

but i was wrong as problems kept getting worse

there was a mountain of restrictions in front of me

i tried to break them

but the walls were too high for me to reach

and so i finally gave up

my attempts to be set free

and i'd want everyone to know i wasn't a coward

because this was what it was meant to be

then i pick a pen and begin to write my last words

followed by a blade on my wrist

and as i breathe and my heart beats for the last time

i wish there was someone to who i'd say goodbye

......