(hey guys! omg its been so long since ive posted.... the last time was in december! anyway I decided to take a break from the Emmett lists and make a Jasper list. I don't think it's as good, but as always, enjoy!)
51 Things Jasper Hale is Not Allowed to Do
Jasper Hale is not allowed to...
1. Make Bella want Mike Newton
2. Make Emmett want Mike Newton
3. Make Rosalie think she's ugly
4. Convince Emmett he has a twin
5. Convince Carlisle that he looks good in spandex
6. Wear his Confederate Army Uniform around the house
7. Tell Mike that the only reason Bella doesn't want him is because she's with Rosalie
8. Call Jessica and tell her Edward is watching her
9. Make Lauren shave her head
10. Get a job at McDonalds
11. Attempt to get a tattoo
12. Make a list of 51 Things Alice Cullen is Not Allowed to Do
13. Join a female choir
14. Become a gangster
15. Become a monk
16. Live on the streets and beg for money
17. Become a pole dancer
18. Burn Alice's wardrobe
19. Tell Alice that shopping counts as PE credits and she really should work out more
20. Influence Edward to change Mike Newton
21. Live in a corner away from the world the rest of his life
22. Start a newborn army of fruit
23. Attempt to stop Alice from shopping
24. Ask Mike about his personal life
25. Make Bella leave Edward
26. Mess with Alice's Porsche
27. Get all the wolves to annoy Rosalie
28. Run for president and influence people to vote for him
29.Dye his hair bronze...
30.Get a Volvo...
31.And watch Bella sleep
32.Have a shopping cart race with Emmett
33.Create sock puppets and battle with Emmett's vampire fruit minions
34.Join a soap opera
35.Bet against Alice
36.Run around Forks screaming "THE NEWBORNS ARE COMING! THE NEWBORNS ARE COMING!"
37. Make his email i_love_purple_pengins@hotmail.com
38. Tell Bella she's awful at everything and make her depressed
39. Go on a pony ride and scream "LOOK AT ME! I'M A COWBOY!!!!"
40. Sing the Elmo's World theme song
41. Make Alice join Shopaholics Anonymous
42. Tell young children that Humpty Dumpty was suicidal
43. Eat Jacob and tell everyone he was just trying to save Little Red Riding Hood
44. Attempt to burp the alphabet
45. Dress up as a clown and jump out of Bella's closet when she least expects it
46. Attempt to get Bella arrested
47. Complain that real vampire's don't sparkle
48. Have a dance off with Eric Yorkie
49. Become a pirate...
50. And speak in a pirate voice for the rest of the month
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"Seriously Bella, have I ever told you how awesome you are... sort of?" Emmett said, helping Bella tape the list to the wall.
"Please Emmett, how many lists have we made for you?" She said, smirking as she put the finishing touches on the list.
They heard a loud, high-pitched scream from upstairs, and groaned as Alice ran down the stairs, followed by Jasper.
"I swear Alice! It was only a joke!" He said, but Alice still jumped on his back.
"Say it!" she hissed.
"Fine. Alice, you are the thinnest vampire ever, and you do not belong in Esme's granny panties." Emmett exploded into laughter as Bella got out the pen and wrote:
51. Jasper Hale is NEVER, EVER, EVER allowed to call Alice fat
