Random Crap I Wrote Cuz I'm Bored

My A.D.D.

Not sure of date.

Have you ever found yourself at loss. Yes, it seems like with everything for me. It's a hard weight to cope with. Especially being that I'm still In school dealing with my issues, trying to keep my grades up while all at the same time trying to get at least 5 hours of sleep in. It's a lot and it hurts. I some times wonder what life would be like if I didn't have attention deficit disorder. Would life be easier... or would it still be like as if I was walking on hot coals. All I know is that it's a hard thing to deal with. Trying to learn how to deal with it, while still trying to learn my stupid ass math is dangerous territory. Times when I'm supposed to be doing homework I'm off in Lala Land not giving two shits about what I'm really supposed to be doing until it's 10pm and I got to be at school in the next 9 hours. I become sleep deprived, I become stressed, I become anxious, I become frustrated all to easily. It's a mystery that I may never solve. No matter how much I struggle and use my full metal compasity it's still never good enough to break these chains of enslavement of my own mind. I tread on thin ropes never knowing when it's going to break under my feet until it's too late.
My mind becomes all too curious. It goes left, then right, then says I should have gone left, but it's all too late. I contemplate. Which is the right way? Is there a right way? Or is it just a way that might get to place? It's all suspicious, mysterious, and damn right horrid. I feel like as if I'm spaghetti that you can't pick up with the fork so you need to use your hands, make a mess, like a toddler would.
I wrote a song of which how my mind sounds in the inside not too long ago, but I can't share because it's just some stupid horrid song on an app for music.
I can't write anymore because my mind has already left this writing sonic finding myself at loss. These are my last words to this and it's just words.
Words and sounds.
White noise.
Nothingness.
But everything also.
Thoughts.
Just thoughts that make a cloud.
A dense ugly cloud in my head.