DANDELIONS.

No. 38

Jihoon knew it wasn't working out. No matter what he did - scratch that, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he was happy, there was this annoying voice in his head that loved to point out to him the flaws in his relationship with Mingyu. He tried to make it work, he really did. After all, he was just like everyone else — he wanted to meet his soulmate, to be happy.

"Hyung? Are you good at writing essays?"

"I guess."

Jihoon was good at writing essays. He used to helped Seungcheol with his all the time.

"What are you supposed to put in the conclusion?"

"You were supposed to learn that in third grade, Mingyu."

He used to say the same thing to Seungcheol, but the feeling was far from the same, instead leaving a hollow feeling in his heart and a bitter taste in his mouth.

"I never actually learned how to write essays. They were more focused on teaching us grammar."

His heart didn't race when Mingyu leaned over him to grab a glass of water from the table. His cheeks didn't flush when Mingyu paused momentarily, as if coming to a sudden realization when his upper body was just barely hovering above Jihoon's lap, and then offering a small smile.

"Just summarize it all into five sentences and substitute basic words for more complicated ones that make you sound smarter. It's not hard."

"I stretched two sentences of knowledge into two thousand words, and now I have to compress that into five sentences?"

Jihoon knew that Mingyu wanted to make it work, too. He couldn't bear the thought of Mingyu's disappointed face if he told the younger boy that they should stop trying, but he also couldn't bear the thought of giving Mingyu false hope.

In the end, it was sort of all his fault. He could've been loyal, like Wonwoo had always been to Junhui, but he selfishly put aside all his love for Seungcheol and jumped at the chance of meeting his soulmate; his actual soulmate. He wanted to make it work with Mingyu to lessen his regret of leaving Seungcheol. He wanted to give it a shot and hope that he fell in love somewhere along the way, but it wouldn't happen.

"Have you actually not written a proper essay before?"

"There was this one time that I had to write an in-depth essay about a movie, but there's only so metaphorical you can get when you're writing seven pages explaining the Bee Movie."

"You've got to be kidding me."

Mingyu and Jihoon might have been soulmates, but no matter what their matching bruises said, they just weren't meant to be.

It was too bad that Jihoon couldn't rebuild his relationship with Seungcheol and start it all over again; not when Seungcheol stared at Jisoo like he was the centre of the universe.

Jihoon was jealous, but he didn't have the right to be. He was the one who left, he was the one who initiated the breakup, he was the one who shouldn't have had any regrets, yet in the end, it was Seungcheol who was happy, while Jihoon was drowning in his own regret, no matter how hard Mingyu tried to teach him to swim.

—

A hug.

Seungcheol's heart nearly stopped.

He had already suspected that there was something on Jisoo's mind when he had been less talkative for the past couple of days - not that he was ever particularly talkative around Seungcheol in the first place - and he had kind of confirmed it when Jisoo sat next to him gingerly, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he tried to settle into the silence. He didn't think Jisoo had ever sat that close to him since they were kids, and the feeling, though once familiar, was completely new.

Jisoo shifted slightly beside him, and Seungcheol was painfully aware of every slight movement Jisoo made. He wouldn't say that he was suspicious, technically, but his best friend instincts from when they were kids had rekindled and he knew something was up. Seungcheol tried to play it cool, pretending that he didn't notice Jisoo's nervous habits (He did, and it worried him to no end,) and then he felt arms wrap around him.

Jisoo buried his face in Seungcheol's neck.

"I'm—" A pause. "I'm sorry."

At that point, Seungcheol was too shocked to speak. He couldn't believe that Jisoo had went from not coming within a five meter distance of him to holding onto him as if his life depended on it overnight. Memories came flooding through his head, reminding him of how close they used to be and how much he wished they were still that close, and he unconsciously found himself returning the embrace and holding Jisoo close, noticing how the boy seemed to relax at his touch.

"Why are you sorry?" Seungcheol murmured, trying to comfort the boy who was unreasonably apologetic. Unable to stand the distance between them, he decided to test his limits and pull Jisoo onto his lap, but the boy didn't seem to care. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"It's just..." Jisoo let out a deep sigh, and Seungcheol knew he was choking back sobs. "I don't know, I've been so cold and so distant and- well, I guess I was just scared of falling in love with you, because, like, what about Jihoon, but I'm sick of forcing myself to separate myself from you, not again. I miss being able to be close to you, I miss this, I miss hugging you and teasing you and- I miss you, Seungcheol."

"Jisoo, you don't have to miss me." His voice was soft and gentle, but he was completely serious. "I'm right here, I always will be, and I promise I will never leave, okay? I will never let myself be separated from you ever again." Seungcheol held Jisoo tighter, and a calmer state washed over the younger. Then, somewhat confused, he tilted Jisoo's chin up to look him in the eye, "Why would you be scared of falling in love with me because of Jihoon?"

"I don't know," Jisoo's gaze fell downwards, "I guess it was because you two were so happy before, and, well, I kind of ruined that, and I felt like I didn't have the right to love you after I ruined your happiness." Jisoo made it sound like a question, like he was unsure about it himself.

"You didn't ruin my happiness." Seungcheol stated, somewhat confused.

"But I ruined Jihoon's."

"You're not the reason why he broke up with me, I thought I already told you that."

"Have you even talked to him after the breakup?" Jisoo questioned, an incredulous look on his face when Seungcheol shook his head. "It doesn't take a genius to tell that he's not happy."

"That doesn't mean it's because of you." Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows, unable to understand what Jisoo was getting at.

Jisoo let out a sigh that was a mix of frustration and disbelief, "He left you for Mingyu, but he's not happy with Mingyu because he's still in love with you, and he doesn't want to tell you that because he thinks that you're in love with me."

In a voice so low and fast and with words strung together so closely that Jisoo couldn't understand, Seungcheol murmured, "well, he's not wrong," but then cleared his throat and spoke coherently, "He'll get over me soon enough. I mean, I got over him."

"Seungcheol, he's your soulmate."

"So? His soulmate is Mingyu." Seungcheol's voice was incredibly casual given the topic at hand. "Besides, Jeonghan is your soulmate and I don't see you dating him."

Jisoo's heart nearly stopped.