....
Gahd...
I'm writing again...
It's so weird...
Ang weird talaga... 😂
Nakatambad na naman sa akin ang cellphone ko. With an earphone plugged on my left ear, playing rain sounds and any kind of song... at 2am on the mornight...
It's weird.
I feel like I'm alive again.
Di ko na matandaan ang last time kong magsulat.
Last year?? Last year ata...
Ewan ko. Parang antagal na eh.
Bat ganun?
Haha.
Ang hirap talaga ng Writer's block. Minsan umaabot pala ng taon.
Eto yung time na ayaw na kong kausapin ng mga imaginary friends ko.
Hahaha. Kahit imaginary nohh, nagtatampo rin sila.
Kaya siguro naisip kong isilat itong story nito.
Siguro hindi sya story na made-up. It's a story about someone who makes stories...
Makes sense?
Di ko lang maibalik ang sarili ko sa pagsusulat noong una. Hindi ako sure kung bakit.
Baka... tinatamad lang ako.
(Probably)
Baka... natatakot lang ako.
Baka... kulang ako sa inspiration.
... pero ba't naman ako kukulangin ng inspiration?
Andaming nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon.
Dahil may minamahal akong babae. At here we are going through all these things and stuff.
Surely dapat may mahugot akong something sa mga bagay na yun.
Sa lahat ng happiness, pain, sadness, and memories na naeexpirience ko habang minamahal ko sya.
... but I feel empty.
Di ko naman sinasabing di ako naiinspire dahil sa kanya.
Siguro naiinspire akong mag-aral ng mabuti.
Maging mas mabuting tao...
Maging magaling sa mga ibang bagay...
... naiinspire niya akong mabuhay.
:')
Pero nainspire magsulat?
Bakit hindi?
Ewan ko lang kung bakit...
"Inspiration is a writer's heart, life and soul"... is a saying I always believe.
Without inspiration...
...
A writer can't write stories...
And if a writer can't write stories...
...
A writer can't be called a writer.
That writer is dead...
I feel like I was dead for a long time.
I was empty.
Was it because I'm just not inspired...
Or maybe I'm really not meant to be a writer...
I keep saying to myself success will come someday.
I just have to be patient...
But I can't be patient...
Nauunahan ako ng takot ko.
Ng anxiety ko.
Ng inner demons ko.
Sinasabing "NOPE. YOU CAN'T WRITE. STOP MAKING TRASH. YOU ARE WORTHLESS."
Kahit wala pa namang nagsasabing ganun sa kin na tao...
I still tell these things to myself...
I am my own worst enemy.
I keep pulling myself down.
I'm killing my own self.
My own heart... my own soul...
Why!!??
I don't know!
I don't know, dammit.
I hope I get to go back.
Kasi dapat ang mga sinusulat ko ngayon ay yung mga stories na matagal ko nang pinaplano.
Hindi itong book na to na ngayon ko lang inisip na gawin.
Pero siguro maganda na ito.
Nailalabas ko lahat...
LAHAT ng feelings that I've been keeping and holding on for years.
La kasi ako mapagsabihan.
And if someone does read this...
Hello. :)
And if noone reads this...
It may be ok.
I'm used to talking to myself anyways...
...
I want.. to write again...
BINABASA MO ANG
A Tear On The Pages
Historia Corta"A writer is a person who puts their life into stories... Sometimes, people forget this. And think that they write for others. But they should write for theirselves." -Anonymous This is a story.. about a writer... and his tears on the pages...
