LOVE, LYDIA ▹ STYDIA AU

NINE

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BOSTON
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THE FEW MINUTES that I sat in the cafe just around the corner from mine and Stiles' houses, waiting for Stiles to meet me seemed like hours. I look terrible. My eyes are red raw from all of the crying that I had done until morning and they stuck out against my pale, sickly looking skin and to top it all off my hair was tied in a tangled bundle that resembled a bird's nest on my head.

Worried thoughts stabbed at my brain as I picked at the dried wax on the worn down candle in the middle of the table. I tried to soothe myself with reassuring thoughts, saying that it was fine and that Stiles would welcome the baby with open arms and help me raise it but I knew that it wasn't true. I knew that it was selfish of me to even think that. Stiles had a future ahead of him, regardless if I had destroyed mine.

"Ok. I'm sorry,"Stiles' voice shook me out of my thoughts as he sped into the cafe and collapsed into the seat across from me, "Um, I...I...I've got news."

His hair may have been even more of a mess than mine. He must have been up all night like me, but likely from things other than dread and despair.

"Me too." More than he could believe.

"Read it." Stiles says eagerly, shoving a tattered enveloped that he had obviously ripped open in the heat of the moment into my hands.

I oblige despite knowing that this envelope only confirms my certainty that Stiles was going to leave me. Mentally preparing myself for the confirm of my downfall, I take the letter out of the envelope and stare at it in hate before unfolding it. The last time I had hated an inanimate so much was last night when I was staring at a positive pregnancy test in a pharmacy toilet.

I want to be joyous about the news that the letter contains but I can't be. So, I fake it instead.

"Scholarship to Harvard," I gasp, looking to Stiles with a wide smile, "Stiles, that's so great. Congratulations."

I know that I'm being possibly the worst friend in existence right now. Stiles didn't just get accepted to Harvard, he got a scholarship! But, I couldn't help being less than delighted about having to live out the rest of my life in this town, raising a child while Stiles was living the good life. I was happy for Stiles, I really was. I just wasn't for myself.

"It's unbelievable, right?" He exclaims in excitement, "Have you heard back from Boston University yet?"

Yes, Stiles, I have. I was going to tell you that I was accepted but when I came to your house you were a little busy with Malia to even know I was there. Oh, and I can't go because I'm PREGNANT WITH JACKSON'S PROM NIGHT BABY!

That was what I wanted to say.

"No." was what I did say.

"You'll get in." Stiles reassures me.

"Yeah," I nod, planting what I hope is a believable smile on my face, "What about Malia? Have you told her?"

"She'll be fine." He shrugs, "Oh god, she's got this thing about my hair."

That explains his own bird's nest.

"Yeah." I nod, smiling along, my grin probably seeming as unnatural as it was.

"But she literally yanks it. And she pulls this funny face during sex like this..."

As soon as he pulls a face that looks remarkably like a baboon's, I can't take anymore.

"Enough, enough," I stop him, a sour look on my face, "Don't you care what she's going to think about you rushing off like this?"

Stiles gives me a strange look before leaning forward and searching my face for a moment before speaking, "All right, what is it?"

"What?"

"Well, you're defending Malia. What's wrong?" He asks, staring at me as if he's trying to figure out the answer himself.

"Nothing," I deny, shaking my head, "Nothing's wrong."

Stiles raises his eyebrows at me, letting out a sigh, "I thought you'd be happier. We're on our way to Boston! Come on!"

I laugh along with him as he lets out an enthusiastic cheer that I can't quite match.

"It's great. It's great, really," I sigh slightly, unable to hold it in, "Well done."

"What, come on, you're coming too!" He chuckles, "My flight's in three days which gives me time to get settled in before term starts. You need to go ahead and book your ticket."

"Sure." I nod, "I've got some stuff to sort first, but I'll be there."

The rest of our time in the cafe was filled with Stiles ecstatically blabbering about Boston and how we can be like an American sitcom. He was too happy for me to tell him the truth, so I simply nodded. I can tell him another time, when he isn't so excitable. Then, he'll go to Boston and I'll stay in contact with him and somehow make a life for myself. Somehow.

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TODAY WAS THE DAY. Stiles was leaving and he still didn't know about my pregnancy. And he won't until the time is right, even if I don't know when that is.

"Don't lose cabin pressure and fall out of the sky," I say to Stiles as we walk through the airport and he simply chuckles. "Or fly into a flock of birds. I mean it!"

"Lydia, I can delay if you need me to."

I'm ashamed to say that I consider it for a moment before letting out a sigh, shaking my head.

"No, you're getting on that plane." I say with a small smile.

Now that I had managed to get used to the fact that I was pregnant enough to not let it keep me up at night, I truly was happy for Stiles. Even if my life has turned upside down, his is still on the road to success and I'm proud of him for that.

"I've got something for you," Stiles grins, dropping his bag from his shoulder, "Close your eyes."

I laugh, looking up to him before her repeats the order and I do so, Stiles taking my hand in his.

"Give me your finger."

I let out a chuckle, sticking my finger out and letting it land on a circular object. Curious, I open my eyes to see a miniature globe keyring below my finger. Just like the one from when we were little.

"North America." I grin, clenching the globe in my hand.

Stiles wraps his hand around mine and I place my other hand atop our intertwined ones. All of the emotions that I had been masking with worry flood over me and I look into Stiles' eyes for a brief moment as I fight to hold in my tears before engulfing him in a hug and holding onto him as tightly as I can before I have to let him go and not see him again for possibly years.

When I finally pull back, our faces are incredibly close and we both linger, desperate for our lips to connect. But, they don't. Instead, I take a step back, maintaining eye contact.

"Keep in touch, okay?" I ask.

"Okay," Stiles nods, his voice barely above a whisper as he picks his bag off of the ground, "See you in two weeks, so..."

He doesn't finish his sentence, he simply waves as he turns away, leaving for another country. I watch him as he leaves me, desperate to ask him to stay, to tell him about the baby, to tell him how much I love him. However, I stay silent as I watch him disappear, letting out a chuckle when he throws me a peace sign.

I look down to the globe in my hand before turning to leave the airport. Hopefully Allison can make me feel better about my best friend leaving me and my baby that he doesn't even know about yet.