Something happened to me recently.
I have started my junior year, in a new school. I was very nervous because sometimes I do worry what others might think of me.
On the first day I made a friend. We are going to call her Sam.
Sam had the same religion and culture as me. We got close pretty fast. I also got close to this other girl called Elena. Me and Elena got very close too, she was one of the nicest people I have ever met, she never had anything bad to say about anyone, she always minded her own buisness, and smiled even though she was hurting the most, which I didn't know at the time. She was a skater and had such cool clothes, we had a similar tomboy style, which what made us friends and made us really like each other.
A couple of weeks later, I made a new friend, Carmen. Carmen seemed very sweet at first, there were always little things that she said or did that made me feel less or not as good as she is, but I just thought I was overthinking.
There was a boy in her class, his name was Charles, I started to liked him and he seemed into me too. She made fun of him, and said he was stupid and that she would never date him. When I told her I liked him, she told me that she didn't like him for me, that we didn't look good together.
I learned later that she just wanter him to be her puppet, she wanted all the boys to be after her. It made her insane that i became very close with this boy from her class, so she flirted with him a lot, whilst having a boyfriend, which I didn't care about because she can do whatever she wants.
Carmen didn't seem to like Elena.
She was jealous, she said that Emily was in her old school, and that she's fake, but she never told me why.
Though I never asked again. Wasn't in my interest what Carmen had to say.
I talked to Emily, she said that she stopped talking to Carmen because she talked a lot shit about people, and bullied them.
Which I have witnessed myself but never said anything. I didn't want to be against my friends, or who I thought were my friends. But I wasn't really sure who to trust.
One day, Emily was crying in the hallway, I asked her whats wrong and she told me that Carmen bullies her, she laughs at her and makes fun of her every time she walks by. I knew Elena wasn't lying, because Carmen had shown me photos of Elena's instagram with her boyfriend and made fun of them right in front of me.
I told her to talk to Carmen, or to a teacher.
Fifth period, Carmen was leaving her class, elena walked towards her and said "What the hell is your problem with me?"
There were a bunch of people around and Carmen threw her bag at the ground and started screaming and crying like a psychopath.
I have lived in Spain for almost 2 years at that time, so I dont speak fluent Spanish, and so Carmen knows I don't understand much. Carmen screamed at Elena saying "I know the stupid person who told you to talk to me, and I know that person doesn't speak a lot of Spanish!" Which, obviously she was referring to me.
I didnt understand it at the moment. So I went to Carmen in break time the next day, she was completely ignoring me, like wasn't there, and I felt so bad about myself. I asked Jasmin, who was her side kick, I haven't spoken a lot about her but she isn't very relevant, "Whats wrong?" She told me that Emily said Carmen talks behind people's backs a lot. I said "but you do," to Carmen, and she changed the subject completely so I walked away and went with a group of people that actually like me. After a little while, she came up to me, and said , "I am done with Emily and I dont want to start with you" and I was like excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are?
She continued "I know you told her that I talked shit about her" I tried to tell her that I didnt, because the only thing I did was tell Emily to talk to her so she stops bullying her.
Moments later, while I was still explaining myself to her, she didn't listen, and she screamed so everyone could hear, "Oh my god you're so annoying get out of my face" so I told her "okay then fuck you" and left.
From that day on, she hated me. She hated me so much she hated when boys talk to me when girls talk to me when people liked me she was so jealous she could strangle me if she had the chance. I never understood where all that hate came from.
Sam, the girl who Ive known since day one, went with Carmen and Jasmin. They laugh at me, they talk shit about me to people. They stare at me bad. A lot of people unfollowed me on Instagram that I didn't even know, and didn't know me, because she had told them that I'm fake and a horrible person. But the people she wanted to dislike me the most, they loved me, they didn't care what she said, they knew who I really was, and they didn't pick sides like children would do.
Another thing was, since Sam and I met Carmen, Sam had started acting different, we always sat together in class, Carmen and Jasmin were in another class.
Sam and I use to sit in the back, but one day she told me she wanted to focus, so she sat in the first row with another girl.
So I ended up sitting with this guy in the last row.
I got a cold and stayed home for a day or two, I came back and saw that Sam was in my seat, next to the guy. I came over and asked her "Why are you in my seat? I thought you wanted to sit in the front row," and she just giggled, said she doesn't know and sat down.
I once again was sitting alone. I texted het telling her that Carmen was changing her, and manipulating her and that she is treating me differently, but she just blocked me.
Time went by, I stayed with other friends from her class in breaks, which made her jealous as if she owns the boys of school, she flirted with the guy I liked every time I was around, which didn't make me jealous because I knew they were both pathetic idiots which makes them a great couple.
She threw food at me in break. She laughed every time I walked by. She made a puking noise at me, she told people horrible false things about me. School was hell. She even made her brother attack me, he accused me or putting T-pex in her hair. Luckily guys from her class were there who were my friends and they were defending me. Like true friends would do.
I was told she felt threatened by me, that I dared to be prettier than her, and dared to talk to more boys than her. So in reality she was her own problem. I was confident, and I didn't care about others, I didn't what I felt like.
But what bothered me the most was how I let her make me feel this way.
Why do I worry so much about her? Why do I look at her or worry if she is laughing at me?
She is a screwed up person, and that wasn't my problem.
I changed schools and I made new friends, they are different kinds of people from the people in my old school, but there are horrible people and amazing people everywhere you go.
Don't let anyone make you feel sad, don't give them the power. I hated her for ruining school for me but I forgave her, for myself, I forgave her because not caring, is better than revenge.
