Carnal Protector (manxman, Werewolf)**Magic Shifter Book 1**

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

** I dedicate this chapter to an avis fan and friend of mine, Dr. Gigglez, I hope you enjoy your day darling this update is for you.**

Carson’s POV…

(The goregous Justin Gatson representing Raphael---->)

Rubbing a tired hand over my face, I watched as my despondent mate settled the last of our little ones to bed for the evening. I felt like the scourge of the earth for treating him the way I did last night. I literally forced myself on him and took away his choice. I treated him like a possession and not as my mate, my other half, and the very reason for my existence. All that he was trying to do was protect our pups and me. I own up to the fact that I was petrified when I woke up and he wasn’t here, and when I felt the surge in his powers I was almost catatonic with the dread that overwhelmed me. If I lost him my pups and I would be rudderless, but instead of listening to him. I let my wolf’s aggression take over completely and it dominated and subdued him, and now he won’t even look me in the eye.

Every attempt that I have made trying to get close to him today has resulted in him shying away from me, and my heart broke with the realization that I did this. I was the cause of his depression and sadness, and my wolf was dormant lying deep inside my conscience, hiding in shame. I couldn’t let this go on.

Getting up, I made my way into the kitchen and cleaned up the baby’s bottles from their last feeding for the night. Once that was done, I didn’t see Seth come back into the living room so I went to go find him. He wasn’t in the nursery and our babies were sleeping sweetly tucked in with their little blankets.

I quietly pulled up the door and crossed the hall to our darkened bedroom. I saw Seth seated on the side of the bed staring out the window with a pillow in his lap. Even his aura was sorrowful and it stabbed me in my chest. I made my way into the room and sat down next to him on the bed  “Baby, I am so sorry. I was just scared that something was going to happen to you. I woke up and you were gone, and I was wrong to treat you like that. Please forgive me. I can’t take seeing you like this. I feel like you have drawn away from me. I can’t lose you. I was wrong and I am sorry. Please talk to me.” I begged turning my full attention to his beautiful face. God, the spirits blessed me with such an amazing mate and here I am fucking it up.

Seth looked up at me with those big baleful eyes and he stared at me as if I was looking directly into my soul. “Carson, I am your mate, your equal, we are supposed to be the other half of each other. But you treat as if I am inferior, like I am weak and in need of protection all the time. I am not saying that I am strong as you but I want to be treated like I matter. You hide things from me and you purposely keep out of the loop. All I want is for the threat to our children to be removed. You haven’t shared what is happening with me, so how was I supposed to know?” He stated and I felt even smaller because he was right. As good as we were together, our communication sucked and it’s mostly my fault.

“Tell me baby, what do you want, my job is protecting you as my mate and love, and our babies until I draw my last breath. I try to make you happy to keep unnecessary hurt and pain away from you. I hate it if you are scared or unsure.” I whispered as I took his little hands in mine.

He gave me a squeeze then he replied. “Everyone all my life, my parents, my brother, and now you have kept very important details about myself from me all in the name of protection. Try to see things from my point of view. If my parents had faced up to what I was I would have a better understanding of myself, my powers, and our way of life. I would have a clear understanding of me and know exactly what I am capable of. I wouldn’t fly off the deep end all the time. I am an adult; I don’t need you to shield me from everything. I understand the sentiment, but you are leaving me ignorant and therefore blind when I walk into a situation and that will do harm than good. Think about it. That’s what I want, for you to be open and honest with me through the good and the bad. Help me work with you and the others to keep us all safe and comfortable. Stop treating me like I am going to break and that all I’m good for is to be a submissive mate and to roll over when you have a need.”