Pros and Cons

Oliver

I tossed the duffel bag into the back seat of my car and carefully fitted the full coffee I had just purchased into the driver's side cup holder. If I was going to be leaving here I had to do it quietly and before anyone really noticed and I could be in Boston in just under two hours if I didn't stop at all. I began driving. If I was going to have this surgery I needed some opinions and I needed to be sure if this is what I wanted. I needed to be able to reassure my mom that everything was going to be okay, and I just couldn't do that yet.

I liked driving. It was calming, although driving into a sunrise was tough, it made me even sleepier than I thought it would. I gulped down my coffee and I arrived in the city of Boston by 9 AM. I parked my car and walked around. I walked all over boston that morning, drinking my coffee, trying to wake up a little so I could do this. Then I got back in my car and drove to the soccer field of Northeastern University. I walked on to the bleachers and sat down on one of the first few seats.

He was playing on the field, doing a drill that we had done in high school a thousand times or more. I could only recognize him by his bleach blonde hair that was being held out of his eyes with his signature headband. When practice ended he came strolling towards me and I stood and walked down to the field.

"Andrew? What the hell are you doing here?" Oliver said laughing a little.

"I wanted to come see how you were doing up here man! We haven't talked in like forever." I pulled him into a tight hug. Oliver was my best friend all throughout high school. We played on the soccer team together, took all the same classes, we even worked the same summer job at Chelsea Piers.

"Don't bullshit me man." He said, shoving things in his bag as he spoke. "You would have called if you really wanted to know."

"Yeah I guess."

"What's really going on? Did you get a girl pregnant? kicked out of school? are you dying?"

"Maybe the last one." I said quietly sitting back down on the bleachers.

"Are you serious?" He said, the smile quickly gone from his face. He looked up at me now, and stopped joking around, stopped what he was doing. I could tell he wanted me to be joking.

"There's surgery, but I don't know if i'm gonna have it." Oliver and I had always had a friendship like this. Not only were we always by each other's sides throughout high school we also never bullshitted each other. It was a promise we had made back in freshman year and we honored it. He sat down next to me on the bleachers now.

"Why not? Are you an idiot?" He said completely seriously.

I nodded. "Possibly." I said cracking a smile. Oliver didn't smile back.

"So you are a dying idiot and you've come here why? To say goodbye, because you know that's not going to fly with me."

"What do you mean?"

"You're having the surgery." Oliver stood. He smiled at me a weird nervous smile as he said "You're not allowed to be this dick who essentially takes his own life because he's too damn stubborn to put his life in someone else's hands. I won't accept that and you damn well shouldn't either." He zipped up his duffle bag and threw it over his shoulder.

I was speechless, Oliver was right I guess. He knew me better than anyone. "Okay, Well, I'm on meds now and we don't see each other much anymore. So let's go out tonight, let's do something while I'm here."

"Are you sure that's okay?" I nodded and his face softened, "How long are you gonna stay for anyway?"

"I'll probably leave in the morning." I said smiling, and Oliver put his arm around my shoulder and we started walking off the field together. Then I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. "Hang on. Hello?"

"Where are you??"

"Naomi calm down."

"Ooh Naomi! is this your new girlfriend?" Oliver asked, and I shook my head.

"ANDREW!"

"I'm in Boston, didn't you read my note. My heart is beating relax."

"Fine when are you coming back?"

"I don't know yet." I said, and Oliver smiled back at me. The sign for 'we're gonna cause some trouble' between us. "I'll call you later." I hung up the phone and Oliver and I got in my car.

"So is that your new girlfriend? You over Ruby already?" I shook my head. Ruby was my ex-girlfriend. The truth was I loved her so much that I wanted to marry her. I even asked her to marry me at one point. We wanted to be together forever, But she decided to go to college on the other side of the country, we considered long distance but after a while of not seeing her, I just couldn't do it anymore, It felt like we had already broken up. I still miss her, I think that's why I haven't tried anything with Naomi, I'm still too in love with Ruby.

"Naomi is just an overly concerned friend. I was with her when I had the heart attack so she feels the need to be by my side 100% of the time just in case."

"Well she sounds like a good friend. Unlike you who I haven't seen in months!" He said hitting me on the back of the head.

"Hey don't Hit the driver!" I yelled. "Sorry I've been absentee. What do you want to do tonight?" I glanced over at Oliver and he had that same evil looking smirk that Naomi wore when she was up to trouble too.

That night Oliver and I went out. Like we had always planned. There were girls, lots of booze, guys playing loud music and screaming. This was the night we dreamed about when we were freshman in high school, sitting in the back seat of my mom's car driving home from soccer practice. Walking back to Oliver's dorm room that night we laughed about the way we used to be.

"We were assholes back then." I said.

"You said it. We sucked, all those girls we talked about getting and never got."

"Hey I got the one that counted in the end."

"Ruby?" Oliver made a noise and laughed. "Yeah and look how well that worked out for you."

I hit him. "Hey!"

"Sorry, sorry." He said. "Hey I'll race you back to my dorm. It's that building back there."

"Alright, alright. Ready?" I looked at him and set my feet up. "Set...Go!" I yelled, taking off right before I said go.

"Hey you cheated!" Oliver said running after me and quickly catching up. We finished at the same time laughing, out of breath and tired. "I miss doing stuff like that man!"

"Me too, Me too."

"So what am I gonna do if you don't have that surgery. You had to take your meds twice while we were out tonight. What if you forget? Have you thought about what this is going to do the people around you? forget your family what about me? What about Ruby?" I stared up at the sky and sighed.

"I'll take it into consideration. I will man. For you." We smiled at eachother and Oliver pat me on the back. After all that's what I was doing right? getting another opinion, I mean that's what I wanted, to have the important people in my life weigh in. I slept on the futon in Oliver's room that night and in the morning I walked to my car and as I climbed into the driver's seat. I texted Naomi: I am still alive. I will call when I get to Michigan.