I'm not falling for him maybe.

chapter seven.

When we were eight, Chase and I created a fort about eight yards into the woods behind his house. It was basically a few sheets draped over a tree at first, but we continued to bring pillows and blankets until it turned out to be maybe two tree houses big. Up until we were twelve, we went there all the time. Then, all of a sudden, we just stopped going.

I'd forgotten about it a long time ago, and I figured it'd be torn down by now. But it wasn't. And here I am, just sitting in it. I didn't know where I was going. My brain was all fuzzy. I just wound up here, staring at the dirty, torn sheets, taken over by a wave of nostalgia until I finally got the nerve to crawl inside. I guess this place was my hideaway years ago and my legs thought running to it was the most familiar thing to do. I've been sitting in here for what feels like two hours, but I'm sure it's only been fifteen minutes.

I think I hear someone call my name, but I don't reply. I'm sure its my imagination, and I'm afraid if I try to speak, I'll burst into tears. I think of the reason why I'm here, and a lump rises in my throat. Its hard not to think about something on purpose.

"Grace?" I'm sure I hear my name now. "Its me. Chase. Can I come in?"

"How'd you know where to find me?" I ask after a long pause.

I guess he takes it as a yes, because his head peaks in now, followed by the rest of his body. The sheet closes once he's all the way in. He takes a pillow for himself to sit on and stares at me for a minute before answering. "I just thought you'd be here. I'm surprised this place is in such good shape."

"Yeah, I know. I haven't been here in years."

I look down, drawing shapes in the dirt with my finger, avoiding his gaze. Neither of us speak for a minute. I hear him moving, getting something he left outside, but I don't look up until he tosses a small bag of chips at me.

"I figured I could cheer you up," He says. "I brought some stuff." I open the bag and take a bite of one, concentrating on the crunching sound it makes in between my teeth. "I wasn't sure if you'd want salty or sweet, so I brought some of both."

I glance up. He's got a whole backpack full of candy and chips. I actually laugh. He smiles.

"I was going to bring my radio so we would have some music but I got halfway out the door before I realized I wouldn't have anywhere to plug it in. So I figured I could sing for you."

"Please no! I feel better," I insist. He smirks.

"Remember that time we started a duet?"

"Oh my God." I almost choke on my chip. "Yeah, and we made our family pay to listen to us?"

"Yeah." He laughs. "We put on a concert outside and we couldn't remember half the lyrics to the songs we wrote. I wish we had them on tape."

"Wasn't one of the songs about a lost tiger looking for a home?"

"I think so. His name was Tigey."

"How old were we anyway? Like, six?"

"I don't even know." He pauses for a minute, but we're both thinking of the same thing and he knows it. He smiles a sad smile. "How are you? Really?"

"I..." I think about lying, but he'd read right through me, so I don't bother. "I don't know. I just... I feel like... I don't know. I wish he would have just told me it wasn't working. I wish I wouldn't have wasted so much time... on him..." I feel my throat closing on me. "I just don't understand... why would he...? I never thought..." I can't seem to finish any of my sentences, so I stop bothering. I don't meet his gaze, because my eyes are burning and I know if I look at him, the tears will overflow.

"I'm really sorry, Grace. I don't understand why he would do it either." He moves closer. "If it makes you feel any better, I told him off."

"What'd you say?" I whisper.

"Uh, just some stuff about how he was a jack- uh, jerk- that didn't deserve you. I would repeat myself, but it contained a lot of swearing, and I know how you feel about that." He pauses for a minute. "The other girl didn't know either. I guess she'd been going out with him for a few months. When she found out, she kicked him in the shin."

"Well, I guess you told me so," I put my bag of chips on the ground, blinking the moisture out of my eyes. "I guess you were right about him. I should have listened to you."

Before he can reply, a sob escapes, despite my best efforts of trying to hold it back. I hug my knees to my chest and bury my face in them, still trying to fight the tears, but its no use. I don't know how long it is until I have control of myself. If I had to guess, I'd say probably ten minutes. But when I wipe my eyes and look up, he's still sitting there, drawing something in the dirt. I know he feels me watching him, but he doesn't say anything.

"What happened to me?" I ask. I don't know who the question is directed to, me or him. "I always said I'd never let a boy make me cry. But look at me. I'm a freaking mess."

"Hey, don't feel so bad. When Sara and I broke up, I cried for twenty minutes."

"But you broke up with her."

"Yes." He pauses. "And she broke my nose."

Maybe I'm just hysterical, or maybe its because I don't want to be sad anymore, but I start laughing. "Was that when you told me you got hit by a bus?"

"Okay, ha ha. It was a lame excuse but I was, what, fourteen?"

"And you couldn't admit a girl beat you up."

"She didn't beat me up. She just broke my nose. And anyway, she could punch. And I didn't see it coming. And I couldn't hit her back. The odds were kind of against me."

"I know." I smile. Its half forced, but it's better than crying. "Thank you."

"No problem."

"No, I mean it. Thank you for finding me. And cheering me up. And letting me cry, I guess. I really don't know what I'd do without you."

"Wow. Heartbreak makes you cheesy." He smiles back. "You're welcome. You'd do the same for me."

"Please don't turn into that big of a wimp. The day I find you huddled in the forest, crying your eyes out over... well, over a guy, that's the day pigs will fly."

"You know what I mean. And," He adds. "Swine flu."

"Well aren't you just a regular old comedian?"

I unwrap a candy bar and take a bite. He doesn't say anything for awhile, but I don't mind. Silences aren't awkward around him. We're always lost in our own little worlds around each other anyway. It's kind of nice to have someone I don't have to hide from.

"So, you're going to be okay?" He finally asks, watching me carefully.

"Yeah." I let out a long breath. "I mean, I'm not great. But I've been worse."

"Do you need a ride home?" He asks.

"No. I mean, yeah, I guess. Maybe. But I just... I don't want to go right now." I shake my head. "I don't want to have to explain to my parents yet."

"That's fine." He looks tired, suddenly. "You know, what I said is true. He really doesn't deserve you. And he is a... jerk. I mean, he's worse than that. But I'll be nice. You'll find someone else, someone better. And they'll make you forget all about him. I promise."

"Thanks Chase," I reply. And I decide to believe him.