Aries - I crashed my motorcycle
Taurus - this idiot forgot to stop for me whilst I crossed the road
Gemini - I'm just here with a friend
Cancer - I was cooking soup for my boyfriend and I spiked it all over me. I have third degree burns
Leo - someone called me ugly, so I tried to punch them but I missed and punched the brick wall
Virgo - I work here
Libra - I had a panic attack
Scorpio - someone pushed me down the stairs
Sagittarius - an old lady was going really slowly on her motor scooter so I told her to hurry up and she ran over my toe
Capricorn - I worked really late for like five nights in a row and I passed out from sleep deprivation
Aquarius - I was walking my mermaid and she pushed me down a well and I ended up in narnia
Pisces - I was concentrating and then I ran into a wall, I got a concussion
