Fairy Falls {ON HOLD}

Fairy Falls

Fairy Falls

Prologue

This is it. I'm going to do it. There's nothing here for me anymore. It's time.

I sit on my bed staring at the newly prescribed sleeping pills in my hand. Of course I'm having second thoughts. Wondering if this is really the best choice for me. Is my life really that terrible? Yes, yes it is. I can't take the ridicule. The pain and the tears that are an end result to every day I'm living. It's time for an end.

I go to my small wooden desk that sits against the wall in my dimly lit room and take out a piece of paper and a pencil. I gather my dark brown hair and put it up in a poorly done ponytail before I begin my gut wrenching note.

The Story of My Life; In Other Words, The Reasons Why

I think you know why I'm writing this note. Well, I guess it'll probably be more of a letter. I'm tired of life, it has nothing more to offer me. I wake up each morning and wish I didn't. Every day gets harder than the previous.

Dad left unexplainably when I was nine. I'm not sure why. We were such a happy family. Mom and Dad hardly ever fought. I feel like it's my fault. Or, maybe, not even my fault but it had something to do with me.

Anyway, after word spread that mom and I had been abandoned, I began to get ridiculed and teased. All of my "friends" slowly began to fade away.

But something even worse happened; I lost my mom too. Being left definitely affected her. She became attached to work and alcohol. She constantly works overtime, brings work home with her, sometimes she even rents a hotel room in the city close to her office. On the rare occasion she does come home, she either locks herself in dad's study or sits in the family room in front of the TV with a bottle or two of straight vodka. She just sits there and stares, not paying attention to the colors and voices that illuminate the screen in the dark room. We're not poor, by any means, with all the work she does but we aren't happy. At least I'm not. It's been seven years and every single day it's that exact same thing.

That was just my home life. And shockingly, it isn't as bad as life at school. When dad left, I developed an eating disorder in the sense that I ate too much. I gained weight and of course that gave the kids more of a reason to criticize me. After a while, the bullying got too much so I figured that, maybe, I'd have friends again if I lost the weight. So I stopped eating. It's become a serious eating disorder that's still going on. Mom has no idea about it but everyone else does. So now I'm getting mocked for it as well. Nothing I do is the right thing to do. I could bring World Peace and people would still find a way to bring me down.

The only place I have friends and actual communication with people is in my extremely vivid dreams where I get transferred to Fairy Falls - my safe haven. In Fairy Falls, I have Lindsey and Dylan and the rest of my fairy friends. My dreams are ongoing. It's a story that I get to live in every night with my purple hair and bright blue eyes. In Fairy Falls, I'm excepted. I'm the Chosen One that is their only hope of getting through this ongoing battle between the Dark and Light fairies. If only it were real.

So I'm going back to Fairy Falls here in a few minutes and this time, I'm not coming back. I'd apologize for hurting anyone by doing this but I don't think I will be. So this is goodbye. I love you, mom.

- Carsyn -

I fold up the letter into thirds and write a simple Goodbye on the front. Short and simple.

I stand up from my rickety chair and walk downstairs to where mom was sitting in her chair with a bottle of liquor in her hand and staring at the TV. I stand behind the chair and think about how this is the last time I'll see it. I walk up and tap her on the shoulder my body shaking with both emotion and fear of what she's become.