Man of War

Fighting an Urge

That night, the first night back, was restless and grueling. Every time I shut my eyes, I saw the shots fired, the friends lost, the blood. I couldn't sleep amd niether could Tomi. A few weeks passed, maybe 3 or 4, and I could hear moaning coming from down stairs. Not sexy moaning, not moaning of pain, just sounds. Then there was screaming. Loud screaming of pain and agony. Screaming of someone who needed to be held, of someone who needed to be loved. And I knew how to love a woman who needed it, but not like the kind of loving that Tomi needed. I stood from my bed, the sweat from my bare chest hit the cool air and I sighed. I could feel my heavy foot steps against the dark wood floors. I started running once the screaming got louder and once I reached the bottom of the stairs I ran into Tomi's room. She wasn't awake, but she was the one who was screaming. Tears streamed from her eyes that were closed and she was screaming and squirming around in her bed. Her chest rose and fell quickly, and she screamed into the night air. I stared in the door way for a moment, and realized that she needed me, and I needed her. I couldn't sleep, and she couldn't sleep, so we might as well sleep together. I crawled over her and came behind her, wrapping her flailing body into my naked chest. She struggled for a moment and then submitted to my hold. She started breathing heavily, and her body wiggled  against mine. My arousal was beyond comprehension, and I tried to keep myself from being felt by her wondering body, but I think she felt it in the end. Her hands flew to mine that were folded around her, my elbows separated her breasts against gravity and my hands were clenched in fists above her clavical. She gripped around my knuckles with her tiny fingers and held onto me. She slept soundly, not once making a peep or screaming. Again, if not for her slight snoring, I would have thought she was dead. Her tiny body next to my giant one was so amazing, and warm. I've never met a woman so petite and perfect. I slept soundly too. Like a freaken rock. I slept the soundest I've slept in a long time. Since I was five and didn't have to take meds. I slept until late morning, and felt completely rested. I didn't even sleep so good after sex. And that's saying something. I felt her squirm next to me, and her body turned over to face mine. I kept my eyes shut, but I could feel her warm hands run down my abs. I tried to contain my conceeded smirk, and executed successfully. I slowly opened my eyes and her grey ones met mine. She gasped and her hand remained above the belt of my plaid pajama pants. I could feel my arousal twitch in my boxers, but didn't let it reflect on my face.

"What's wrong?" I asked smiling at her sincerity.

"You're eyes are so...green....and blue...it's like they're green and blue at the same time." She whispered loud enough so that I could barley hear her voice.

"It's because of the lighting in this room." I whispered back, astonished and flattered by her fascination. I felt my face start to blush against her stare, and she noticed. She scooted closer to me, her hand moving alittle bit lower into the belt of my pants. I could feel her breath against my lips, and I knew she could feel my quickening breath against her lips too. Her eyes were heavy and seductive, but not on purpose I don't think. I could feel the urge to kiss her, and with her body language, I could tell she wanted to kiss me too. I knew she didn't understand these feelings because she's never felt turned on before, but I could tell that she wanted it.

"You're eyes are beautiful." She whispered against my lips, and the hand that was slowly traveling down my pants moved and she put her hand on my waist and pulled my pelvis closer to her's. I didn't know what to do, but I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to do her. But that seems cruel. Almost a dis-service.

"You're beautiful..." I whispered back to her. Her face began to flush and now I knew what she really wanted. She went the 90% and now I had to go the 10%. I wrapped my hand around her tiny waist and pulled her pelvis against mine, and her eyes turned from mine and was surprised to feel my arousal pressing against my boxers and in between her legs. She looked back up at me and her eyes trailed from my eyes to my lips and she stared at them. I knew she wanted it. I needed it. I often used sex as an attempt to ease my aching heart. She needed easing too. Alot of easing.

"Do you want this?" I whispered to her quietly. Her eyes found my eyes again and she smiled and bit her lip. Her dazzling smile almost made me take off into the air. I looked upwards and groaned in need of her body wrapped all over mine. "Is that a yes?" I asked with another devilish smirk.

"I've never done it for real though...." she said slightly moving away from me.

I stared at her in disbelief. I knew she was a virgin before she got raped, which is actually hard to believe. I mean she looks like she was made for sex. She's the sexiest girl I've ever seen.

"We don't have to...it's cool..." I reassured her still smiling but making it slightly apologetic.

"No no, I do, it's just that...I want it to be special you know...like...I want it to mean something...with you...." she said with innocent eyes. I felt guilt grip my heart. Oh God, she's right. I can't just have sex with her just because I feel like it. She's just a kid. I mean, she's an adult, but she's never had sex and I was about to part the red sea with force, just to get myself off. That's selfish.

"We can do it tonight if you want. I can make it special for you. I want it to be special too." I promised her.

"Well, then I want to go on a date with you before it gets special." She said sitting up and running her fingers through her perfect hair.

"Are you asking me out Tomi Blain?" I asked with a coy smirk.

"Yes I am. At 6:30 if you please." She said holding her hand out to me to make it official. I took her hand eagerly and shook it with sincerity.

She went off to go shopping and I stayed home, preparing for our special time together.