Unlikely Things To Read On A Motorway Sign

Unlikely things to hear from a weather forecaster

1. "So, Thursday and Friday mild and warm, Saturday an asteroid will hit the Irish Sea and destroy the Earth. That's it from me, bye bye."

2. "That wet, splashy splashy stuff will be comming down, what's it called again?"

3. "It'll be shitting it down until Wednesday night."

4. "What are you watching me for? Just go look out the window!"

5. "Clouds here, storms here and, what's this? Oh God, it's.....oh, I see, someone has just sneezed on the monitor."

6. "And as we look....where's Scotland gone? Fuck!"

7. "Tomorrow, it'll be bright and sunny....BECAUSE I HAVE COMMANDED IT, AND I AM THE GOD OF WEATHER. BOW DOWN, FOOLISH MORTALS!"

8. "Let's get a report on the strength of that hurricane in Oklahoma - our reporter is now in Texas."

9. "That's unbelievable: it actually is raining men."

10. "Is it me, or is it, like, really hot?"