Letters To My Homie

Prologue: How it all started

Dear Homie,
I still can't believe it, how is it even possible for me to love someone so much in such a short amount of time. I remember last summer, I remember you calling me everyday just to say good morning. You wouldn't miss a day, we would talk and laugh about how you're eating too much, I would love laughing my ass off just hearing your voice. My day wouldn't be perfect if we wouldn't talk, I smiled every time your name  came up on my screen.  But throughout all the summer I thought you loved her, even though without realizing I was slowly falling for you. In my head you loved her and I had to support you through it like very best friend is supposed to be there for their best friends. She seemed to be the center of your world, and I couldn't help but be more than happy that you gave me hope for everyday you put a smile on my face everyday during the whole summer. 

But then you stopped, you wouldn't text me, call me anymore. You would ignore me, not answering my calls. You cut me out of your life so suddenly, it broke me I fell in love with you even harder. I missed you every single day, I spent every single day of the last week of summer scrolling through our old conversations thinking about our I love you's and our laughter. I missed you every second that passed by. I would think if you all day, I would think 'what have I done?'. I went through everything, but there was no reason because the last thing that you told me was that you can't wait to see me once school starts. 

What even shocked me more was that once we started school, you wouldn't say hi or give me a hug NOT even look at me in the eyes. I fell deeper and harder every time, you distanced yourself too far. Later I realized why, it was too late cuz you already went running back to her because she was your anchor. But I wasn't even half of what she was, she is pretty, smart, amazing. I was just the shitty crazy weirdo, that was madly in love with her best friend and was terribly suffering. I would see you get closer to her, and it would rip my heart out every time but I would stand strong because I wanted to be there for you. You would never even glance in my direction, you would pass by me like I was nothing, like I was no one, like I was a simple ghost, a simple old memory.

But deep down you were my everything and seeing you happy would make me feel like the happiest woman alive even if it was with her, because you had a huge smile on your face and you seemed like you finally found that extra happiness that you needed. I knew deep down that I was never good for you, 'You'll find someone who can make you happier that can make you feel better than I ever will and when that happens I want you to take that chance and I will be the happiest person out there for you.' That's what I say and that's why I will always say.

Love you,

Dimples