She lays in bed.. trying to decided to fight. She was doing so well she had everything going for her. Amazing friends and an amazing family. She had stopped. She hasn't done or thought about it for 4 weeks. She was doing great. But then she got the news Her step dad was in a bad accident. She can't help it so she cries she can not gain control, of her emotions or physical feelings again. She is lost once again she had thought for a few that things were going too well to begin with. Anytime she got to happy something bad happens to her or someone she loves. She tries to cut with the box cutter she had from work. It was so dull so she took it out of the holder and just took the blade and one good slit right across her arm.. it hurts a tiny bit but not much she does another one. And one more. Each in a different spot. She goes for the second one she did it was deep she decided to cut it. And keep cutting it. It gets deeper and deeper until she says " one day I'm going to cut a vein.. and I'm gonna bleed out." She does one more. And her wrist starts rushing blood out. She is scared but also relieved. She starts to think about the guy she talked to and she starts to think of her new family she has. She begins to cry again and starts thinking this is the end. I'm gone and everyone is gonna hate me.
" even when I die
I'm a
disappointment."
She goes to the bathroom and starts applying pressure on it and keeps the pressure for a good 5 minutes. She says.. I'm sorry just someone please I can't do this alone I can't fight. tears rushing down her face. She lets up on the pressure and it begins to bleed bad again.. she finally decides I will fight but I don't want to fight for me. I don't like me I'm ugly
Worthless
Useless
Broken
Depressed
Anxious all the time
But yet she starts to think one guy at work, wanted her to fight, a friend she met two days ago doesn't know her hardly at all wants her to fight, a friend of 3 years wants her to fight, her new mom and dad 2 brothers and sister want her to fight. She decides
It's NOT time to go
