As Snug as a...Rebel on Hoth?

Forget and Be Content

Neither Cassian or I actually remembered at this point how we accumulated so many blankets in this corner of the Rogue One squadron's common living area on Hoth. Or for that matter, how we began this habit of innocent cuddling amidst the nest. Hoth was cold. That was a good excuse to spend free time under blankets. Cuddling with Cassian under blankets was an added bonus. 


I snuggle as close to him as I can, burying my nose into the side of his shoulder and breathing in deeply. Cinnamon, I decided. His hair definitely smelled like cinnamon. His sweater smelled like the oils and fumes from star ships, paired with something musty and familiar that I couldn't name. Cassian had one arm looped around me, and the other stretched out under our pillows.


Distantly, I was aware that someone had opened a door and was walking through the room. A part of me considered getting up and greeting whoever it was, but the part of me that wanted to stay put won. Getting up meant leaving the warmth of the down-filled blankets. 
Okay, I admit it, it also meant leaving Cassian, but he's warm too, so same difference. Either way, whoever it was leaves fairly quickly.


In an effort to get my feet warm (my poor toes being in such a state tends to be a rare anomaly on this planet) I fidget them around the folds in the blankets, then finally shove them between Cassian's calves.


"Ahh!" He grunts, lower legs jerking away. "Jyn! Your feet are cold!"


"That's the point!" I giggle, looking up at his face. His eyes are slit open (what I can see of his brown irises is almost hidden by his lashes), and his lips set undecided between a frown and a smirk (in any case it's definitely trying to hide a smile). I reach up and smooth out the crease between his eyebrows with my thumb, and kiss the tip of his crooked nose. 

How did I get this lucky? I wonder. It's like a piece of me that I didn't know was missing has been filled in, ever since Scarif. Sometimes I still feel ashamed of myself, thinking about the days leading up to that almost-suicide mission. If I'm honest with myself, I don't deserve Cassian. Not after I stole his blaster, then blamed him for my father's death, then called him a Stormtrooper, and especially not after he followed me on my crusade even though I still hadn't apologized for any of it.


My stomach twists into a knot, remembering it. 


"I didn't know you were still awake," I whisper, hand lingering on his cheek. 
He opens his eyes almost all the way. The expression in them is extremely gentle, holding a thousand things unsaid but still understood, like I remember it being when we were in the elevator after transmitting the plans. 
Cassian takes my hand in his larger one and kisses my fingertips. 


Of course, while we were in the infirmary after the fact, I apologized for every time I had wronged him and he'd still helped or trusted me. Tears were shed, embraces were shared, ammends were made. He didn't have to forgive me. I wouldn't have blamed him if he hadn't. But he did and since those words, I've started to heal and grow into a better person. 


"You look lost in thought, mi luz," Cassian murmurs.


His words draw me back to the present. I lower my eyes from his. He brushes an errant lock of hair out of my face. 


"I was thinking again," I admit. "About how much I don't deserve how good you are to me, and how I never did anything to earn your trust, and how—"


He cuts me off with his lips on mine. For a moment, I forget what I was going to say. The knot in my stomach is dissipating and turning into butterflies.

"Jyn," he whispers, breaking the kiss. "Stop dwelling on all that. Please?" Cassian wraps his arms around me and sighs. I let out a long breath.

"I know," I whisper finally, "I'm sorry."


He twists his fingers through my hair. "It's alright," he replies, kissing my forehead. 


"I love you," I sigh. 

Cassian chuckles. "I love you," he replies. 

Without warning, he rolls onto his back, pulling me halfway on top of him. The movement forces my feet out from between his legs (internally scowling about that—I finally had my toes semi warm!).


Cassian shuts his eyes again and inhales deeply. The crease in his brow smooths itself, and the corners of his lips are twitched up in a small smile. I lay my head on his chest. Under my ear, his heartbeat is even and calm, and his chest rises and falls slowly with every breath. 


"I'm glad you're mine," he murmurs, words slurring slightly between the smooth lilt of his accent, and the sleepy way in which he said them.


"Me too."


"You're glad that you're mine? Or that I'm yours?"


"Both."


"Hmm,  both is good."


"It is."


Someone clears his throat. Cassian opens his eyes and I lift my head and look. Bodhi is staring at the armchair in the opposite corner, and the small bookshelf by the wall, and the short table across the room—basically anything except for us, even though I'm sure he's seen us huddled together down here over a dozen times.


"Yes, Bodhi?" I ask.


"Umm," he says, finally looking at us, then away again, "you don't think you could maybe share one of those blankets could you?"


Cassian sighs and sits up, subsequently causing me to sit up in the process, and roots through the nest for a blanket that we aren't actually using. Unsurprisingly, he does find one, and he throws it at Bodhi. 


I almost laugh at the sight of Bodhi haphazardly trying to walk out of the room with the blanket draped over his head and his arms outstretched like a child in a classic ghost costume.


As soon as the door closes again, Cassian burrows under the down comforter and pulls me back into an embrace. 
"I love you, Jyn," he murmurs into my hair.


When I open my eyes and go to reply, he's already fast asleep.


"I love you, Cassian," I say anyway.




A/N: Hi guys! So as you can kinda see, this is my first one-shot. Actually, it's my first story told from someone's perspective. Haha. What did you think of it? Feel free to comment your thoughts!

Thank you guys for reading! It's an amazing feeling to get online and see how many people have read and/or liked my stories. Honestly! It's just an awe inspiring thing to see that people have read what I've written.

So again, thank you!

(All rights to their respective owners, I don't own Star Wars, Rogue One, or any of their characters, nor do I own the art I used for the cover and chapter.)