It's Complicated Love (Crankiplier) Book 1

Chapter 31 - Is This Really What I Want?

Get ready for a chapter filled with a ton of povs. The final chapter.....

Ethan

      I got back and waited for Mark to pick me up. I just off the phone with him. Jack was still there so I at least had some company other than Mark. I mean sure I still had some friends that lived close by (Tyler) and I have Mark, but sometimes it just gets a bit lonely. I was just lost in my thoughts thinking about the long journey from the day I got a phone call from my dad, to where I am right now. (It's weird because when ya get deep inside a book and ya stop for a minute and go back to the beginning...it hella weird) I was just doing my normal schedule. Living in Maine and being alone. Then I get the phone call from my dad saying that my mum was in for surgery with very little chance of making it. It went all down hill from there. I just wanted to crawl in my bed and just sink into a deep sleep and never wake up. Then Mark came into the picture. He invited me out here and made me feel welcome. He made me feel like everything is going to get better. Then I fell for him. Hard. He was just the highlight of my world and I felt like I could do anything. Sure I'm with G now, some of my feelings for Mark are gone, but I just can't help but think what might have been. I felt hands shake me out of my thoughts. I looked and saw Mark and Jack looking at me a bit worried. I shook my head and started walking off towards the exit. I past Mark and I felt him grab my wrists. I winced, surprisingly, and turned toward him. "Ethan, what's wrong. You looked like you were going to break down any minute. Me and Jack called your name a few times and you ignored us. We are really worried about you," Mark's voice rang in my ears. I got chills down my spine every time I heard his husky voice. 

     I reassured Mark that I was fine and even though I was sincere about it, I could tell Mark wasn't buying it. He dropped the subject and we went back to his car. I stuffed my things in the trunk and began to file into the back seat of the car. Jack was in the passenger seat shifting uncomfortably. Mark was looking a bit spaced out as he got in the drivers set. I decided to not bother and pulled out my phone and earbuds. Turning on my favourite song, I shoved my phone into my pocket and propped my elbow on the....thing. Like that thing that is on the car door that kind of protrudes outward and makes a very narrow shelf? Yeah, that thing. Let's just call it a shelf shall we? (tbh I absolutely have no idea what it's called XD) So I propped my elbow on the "shelf" on the door and rested my chin in my hand. I looked out the window and began to space out. I was thinking about all the things I was thinking about at the airport. I felt the car go into motion. I was so in love with Mark. He felt the same way too, but then Jack came to visit and it was like everything that we've been through and the emotions that we felt for each other just incinerated. I felt my heart break when I remembered seeing Mark and Jack share a deep and passionate kiss. I felt nothing, but anger, jealousy, sadness, and just down right heartbroken. Then I got to go over to G's and now I am with G. I love G, don't get me wrong....but is this really what I want?

Jack

      I sat in the passengers seat shifting uncomfortably. I was just uncomfortable with this kid around. Why do I call him a kid? He's only six years younger then me. I raked my hands through my hair and tried to turn to see what Ethan was up to. He was just sitting there zoned out listening to music. He kind of reminded me of a little me. Maybe I'm being harsh on him. Then I remember what Mark said and suddenly, I felt uncomfortable again. I twisted back around and stared out the window. Things just seem so different. I didn't like it. Why did Ethan have to come in and make things weird? I pushed it into the back of my mind. It's not his fault, Sean, besides....you have Mark back so why worry? I heaved out a sigh and thought maybe talking to Mark is best. Mark kind of beat me to it though, "Sean? You look bothered. Wanna talk about it?" I looked down into my lap and thought all of this through. I may as well talk to him about it. "Well, after what you said yesterday....I just feel a bit uneasy around him. I don't want to, but I just can't help but think what if...." I trailed off not wanting to finish my sentence. I felt tears well up in my eyes. I can't lose Mark. Not again. I felt a warm hand rest on my thigh and knew it was Mark. He couldn't look at me being that we was driving, so this is as close as it gets to eye contact. "Listen to me. It was just because he is so much like you and everything. I only saw you in him.