The Tales of Grumpy Cat

Valentine's Day -.-

Eww. It's February, almost Valentine's Day -gag-. Valentine's Day is the absolutely most terrible holiday in the history of stupid celebrations.

All of those stupid couples (if this is you, please take offense) and people spreading love with their stupid chocolates (that we cats cannot have), and roses (that make me sneeze my head off.) And don't forget about... -shudders- Valentines Cards.

Pokey doesn't like Valentine's Day either. But our owners, that's another story. One day, I was slumping through the kitchen and they stood talking.

"Hey, I heard that the camera crew is planning on coming later to give Tartar Sauce a Valentine's Day shot."

"That sounds great!"

I stopped in my tracks and glared at them with probably the most horrid face I had ever worn on my grumpy face. A Valentine's Day shoot!? NO. Unfortunately, it didn't matter.

All day Pokey and I were forced through watching them share chocolates and gifts and they wrote Valentine's Cards to take to their friends. After a while, they finished and packed us up in their car.

We drove around and stopped at each house around our street. And every single time, they brought me and Pokey out to see them. And they let them pet us -.-

One lady,  who absolutely loved cats, was almost going to be shredded to pieces. She picked me up and pet me and then said, "Aww little Tartar Sauce, ain't you a pretty little girl? Aww..." My owners noticed I was getting more angry than grumpy and had to pick me up and take me away. Finally after a while, we were done with our trips around the street and had to go back to the house. The camera crew was there and was setting up their equipment.

One of my owners sat me down on the table ready for a picture. Then, a crew member graped a bag of pink and red rose petals and dumped them all over me. Oh yeah, they were going to have their "Grumpy Cat" photo. Probably a clawed face, too.

"Where's Pokey," one of them asked after snapping a few pictures. "I think that Grumpy would have an even better Valentine's Day picture with her brother!"

"Oh yes," one of my owners said. "Hold on just a second."

"RUN POKEY!" I screamed, but it was too late. She already had Pokey in her arms and was bringing him back to set him down next to me.

"Love is in the air," I growled to him. "Don't breathe it in..."

We both snarled at the camera as they got five-million photos. Then, we had enough. We launched ourselves off of the table and then we latched onto the stupid camera crewmen and slashed at their faces. They hobbled around trying to pry us off but we kept attacking. Finally, after about five minutes, our owners helped get us off. We had left horrible scratches all over the stupid camera crews' faces.

Happy Valentine's Day to them >:)