impavid

the enjoying

pain.

I used to be filled with so much pain.

and then, something snapped.

I no longer feel emotion.

I spend my days going through the motions. I stare straight ahead. my eyes hold nothing. they are empty. I am empty. I am the living dead. my head is empty.

tears no longer come to me.

I used to cry everyday.

now it's an impossibility.

I feel nothing.

nothing.

I've begun to enjoy physical pain.

what I have learned is that physical pain is all in your head.

if your mind tells your body that it doesn't hurt, that you enjoy the pain, it is no longer pain. it is joy.

for example, you eat something spicy.

take a bite of a spicy pepper.

your tongue burns, doesn't it? it hurts? there is physical pain.

but, tell your brain that you enjoy it.

think to yourself,

I like this. this tastes delicious. it doesn't burn, it tastes good.

the pain no longer bothers you. it's there but you don't feel it.

you feel joy.

you can now enjoy your pepper.

you can feel joy.

you can control what you feel.

and it's magic.

I enjoy it.

I am enjoying it.