The Bean Fic

Tyler Joseph was at a Melanie Martinez concert with Joshua Dun, his hot drummer boyfriend. Melanie was currently on stage, popping out of a toy box and started singing Dollhouse. Half way through the performance, she started crying and called the show off, shaking terribly, rushed back stage.

Josh and Tyler ran after the smol bebe woman child. "Mel," Tyler said, concerned and out of breathe. "What happened?" Melanie had to look up to see the two, eyes glossy with mascara running down her face. "Halsey......sh-she dumped me. And took the 'Emo Guide To Resurrecting MCR'. We were going to start the ritual tonight. Melanie spoke.

"Wait, there was a way to resurrect MCR and you didn't tell the world?" Josh asked, infuriated by not knowing beforehand. "Only true emo bands can do it, and now......I think you two can help, but I don't know the ritual without the guide. DAMN YOU HALSEY!" The 5'2 woman yelled to the sky, as if the Emo Gods could hear her.

"We will help you," Tyler said, staring at something random in the distance. "We have Wikipedia on our side." Tyler, Josh, and Melanie all walked back to tour bus, little did they know, Brendon Urie watched from the bushes with anger. "Not today." He whispered to himself.

Hours of looking through wiki pages, and finding the occasional delicious Phan porn blog on 'accident', they found what they needed.

The instructions said as follows:

Bring the tears of a female emo singer

Write "Gerard is our only true God" on your left palm

Poor the tears on your left palm and drum as load as you can while chanting the words "I'M NOT OKAY!" 15 times

The trio were about to start when Brendon Urie burst through the door, Ryan Ross behind him. "NO ONE CAN HAVE BETTER EMO MUSIC THAN ME! I KILLED MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN, EVEN YOU THREE IF I MUST TO STAY ON TOP!" Brendon Urie screamed, turning into Brendon Furry. "Your always on top anyways....." Ryan whispered. "Nobody cares, Ryan." Everyone else said.

"Josh! Grab the milk!" Melanie yelled to the drummer. Tyler tossed soy milk to Josh, who then through it at Brendon. "NO! THE MILK FIC NEVER SAID IT WAS SOY MILK! I'M MELTING, MELTING!" Brendon screeched, Ryan spooning him, dissolving into the same puddle.

"Let's finish this!" Cried Tyler. Melanie handed a jar of her tears to Josh, pouring it onto his sharpie covered left palm before he started drumming madly. "I'M NOT OKAY!" They chanted 15 times exactly before the tour bus started to shake, Gerard Way rising in a flash of light in the middle of the room. "Thank you, my children. For you have saved all the 2004 emo kids from being extinct." Everyone cheered. Josh and Tyler then road on Gerard out of Melanie's tour bus into the sunrise, only to go home and read some Phan fiction while eating tv dinners. Will Brendon return? Will Gerard pull his band together? Find out next on CBS News!

Gerard gasped, awakening to himself at his laptop with emo fan fictions pulled up from Wattpad, and God knows what other sites, drenched in cold sweat. "Good. No one found," Gerard clicked on a tab that had a Wikipedia page that read "The Emo Guide To Resurrecting MCR". "The guide."