The Players' Game

Part 12 || Porcelain and Clowns||

It's not Friday but I felt like uploading so here ya go my loveliess

This chapter is a little long... Sorry

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Sleep failed to come to me yet again so I chose to lay on my bed, staring at the white ceiling.

I found myself pondering, more than anything, on my memories before I enrolled in Valentine. I remember always going home to an empty house with coldness seeping through the open windows. Mother and father... they never had a good relationship. Their parents forced them to get married. After three years of marriage with a divorce underway, I was unfortunately brought to light in their lives.

I heard it one day when father came stumbling home, furiously pounding on the front door because he had lost his keys again.

I made sure not to lock the front door though, because mother was working outstation and I was alone to deal with him and his fondness to liquor. He never laid a hand on me—on us. Don't get me wrong, I can recall a quarter of my life actually being happy in the suburban area with him as a great father right until that moment when he stumbled home.

He was screaming at everything and nothing, a monster unleashed from it's chains because of one stupid alcoholic drink. Then again, father's always been a light drinker. He blurted nonsense at first, calling for his absent wife. Soon, yelling turned to crying. Crying turned to regretful sobs. Then sobs turned to hateful words.

And those words stayed with me until this day.

Love doesn't last, I told myself that every day and cursing the days I tried a hand at romance. We were both too young—too toxic—to be the half of another's soul. Whatever happened between me and Chase in the span of 6 months ended up destroying us and everything around us.

He left, I knew that for sure when I woke up in my room alone, the pieces of me still healing. A part of me resented him for leaving, for giving up on what was us. Another part resented me, for giving that monster another chance.

"I never knew the full story," Valerio voiced beside me.

Throughout the week, days after his confession to me, I had avoided him like the plague, refusing to shoulder another burden and to help him shield the truth. I was scared. I felt like if I got too close, the memories would resurface. He looked too much like him, like Chase.

Valerio chased me down from class to class, refusing to give up, earning more than a few curious stares from the other students. My mind prompted me to make a move. If he continued the way he did, we wouldn't need to wait for Aaron to spread the news of our alleged boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. There were plenty of vultures roaming around the halls of Valentine. If Chase was really coming back, I needed my position as queen more than ever.

I brought him to the back garden to a bench hidden inside a maze of rose bushes and ivy, away from prying eyes and ears. There, he blurted out his story, slowly retelling shards from the night he lost everything he could have ever wanted.

As a son of his father's mistress, he was out casted from the main family, sent three states over to live with strangers that continually disowned him until he fell upon the Everest couple. They took him in, nursed his wounds and broke down his walls, raising him as their own in hopes to repair the broken doll.

"They almost succeeded." he said bitterly, tears dripping down his face in slow drops. "But the darkness stayed with me. God, why was I so...so stupid? Why did I have to throw myself at all those stupid parties and stupid friends—"

He choked, unable to continue and so we sat in silence. It was his story to tell, I would listen when he was ready.

I knew deep inside, it wasn't Valerio's fault. He couldn't control his long lost brother's decision. An arm snaked around my waist. All too suddenly, I was pressed into the body of another's, warmth spreading upon contact and strangely enough, I knew those chiselled chest and firm arms.

"I missed my vitamin A, princess. Where have you been all day?" [Get it? A for April :')]

His breath tickled my ear gently and I shoved the feeling of comfort that spread through me down immediately. I hardened my expression, shoving him away as hard as I could but unfortunately, he didn't budge. I groaned. "Josh, how many times have I told you not to touch me? Now scurry off."

He chuckled to himself. "Who the heck says 'scurry off' anymore?"

"I don't feel like dealing with your ass today, Josh."

"You like my ass, admit it."

I clenched my teeth. "No." I lied. Joshua was an enigma. He had the face and the body of a Greek god and he knew it to a point where he used it as a weapon. From what I knew, people flocked to him because of his charisma and general kindness towards the human population.

His eyes glinted. "You do like my ass."

I punched him in the rib.

Valerio coughed, jolting Joshua from his bliss. Narrowing his eyes, he raised an eyebrow at Valerio. "Since when were you so close to the new guy?"

I blinked at him, puzzled. The way his sentence came out sent weird vibes my way and I couldn't help but wonder why. It sounded like he was protective—possessive almost—of me even though our relationship was nothing more than merely based on tolerance on my part.

"She can hang out with whoever she likes, it's not like you're her boyfriend or anything." Valerio huffed making Joshua instantly stiff as a board.

"You're right," Joshua said finally through gritted teeth. "April can hang out with anyone she wants, be as friendly as she can towards anyone."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, incredulous. I couldn't help the strange feeling in my gut when he said my name because I hardly ever heard him speak it. He liked his nickname for me as much as he liked his own reflection but I was irritated for sure.

"It's true though, isn't it?" he sneered. "No one can abstain as much as you, April. Who knows what you've been doing in the dark behind closed doors?"

I slapped him.

The sound rang loudly in my ears as it did in his. Suddenly the place turned far too quiet, the winter air somehow freezing but I my insides were boiling.

"How dare you." I hissed, tears pricking my eyes, letting the weight of my words hang in the air for a moment, waiting. An angry red mark decorated his sun kissed skin making me realise that I hit him far harder than I thought. I didn't know why I was so enraged. It seemed like everything I did these days was on impulse.

I hated it.

I liked being in control, it's what I've been doing my whole life. My body, my emotions, my surroundings—jumping to impulsive decisions wasn't me. Too soon things would spiral out of control. Too soon I would lose the world I worked hard to build. Too soon, if I continued to let loose, things would come crashing down.

I took a deep breath in.

Joshua let his arm fall away, his long legs taking a step back making it seem like was a great length apart and I was cold. The heat simmered still but I was cold.

As the skies darkened and hailed rain, Joshua's back was a mere speck in the foggy dusk.

***

I kinda wanna make this part like reading recommendations. Today i recommend The Bite by ZeroWineThirty. I finished two of three from her series in like 2 days with no sleep HUE.

Expect more things like this because I wanna share what makes me happy and her series makes me happy weeee.

Do you guys have any of your favourites?  I've been lost in teen fiction and werewolf world lately so don't be shy to tell me your favs because I would love to check them out~