Inferna Nuntius

Chapter 21

21

A thick of air of despair and self loathing filled the large SUV, enveloping it’s only passenger. In keeping with the current theme of her life, Cassidy sat alone, utterly alone in the SUV, on the street, in her world. Not even the steady flow of cars down the street managed to invade her world; she had become an expert at blocking everything out, at becoming truly alone. The constant hum of the engine filled her ears, but otherwise her world was silent. No radio, no cell phone, no mindless chatter inside her mind. She was thinking about one thing and only one thing-Yvonne Dudka. David was right-the woman had done her in, but Cassidy was beginning to think it was all for the better. For the first time in a very long time Cassidy had allowed herself to mentally approach the topic of letting some of her walls down, to allow herself to finally show some sign of weakness, to finally pull Derrick into the one part of her life that she had kept him in the absolute dark on. David had vehemently shot down her idea for what she had believed were purely selfish reasons-her secret kept them bound to each other; he held her secret and she held his. It had been that way for almost eight years and she was threatening to break that bond, to expose what had happened so many years ago and to expose what David had done for her.

That was the only reason why he had reacted the way he had, she told had herself. He wants to keep her secret so that they would always have that binding to each other. It was as simple as that. But was it? There would be no other reason for him being so damn adamant about her keeping her peace. Her secret affected two people-three actually, but the third person was long dead-or did it? Cassidy leaned forward on the steering wheel and gently drummed her thumbs along the leather, rolling her head side to side, contemplating. Letting Derrick in on her secret would affect no one else, would change no one else’s life.

She released the steering wheel and slumped back in the seat, sighing heavily. She let her mid truly wander, freeing it to ponder whatever possibilities it wanted to. As the evening traffic on the road slowed to just a crawl Cassidy’s attention was garnered by a set of familiar headlights approaching her. The blinding white lights set far apart and dangerously low illuminated the road in front of the car as it passed her. As the nose of the car approached her door, she spotted the tell tale trident positioned low in the grill and immediately recognized the car as a Masarati Grand Turismo, one of her father’s favorites. 

Marcus! The name flew across her mind. Of course. If she told Derrick, it would only be a matter of time before Marcus found out and when he did she knew there would hell to pay for David. Yes, that is why he wanted, needed, her to keep quiet. Marcus would never kill his familiar, but he sure could make David’s life a living hell for the rest of his time on this earth.

A devious smile crept across her face and for a split second she thought of telling Derrick just to screw with David. Her pleasure was short lived as she realized that while Marcus would be pissed at David for keeping her secret, he would be furious with her for keeping it from him. Instantly, not telling Derrick became a matter of self preservation for her. David had his selfish reasons and she had hers.

Still reeling from the realization that she would have to continue to keep Derrick out of the loop on yet another part of her life, Cassidy exited the SUV, sliding her sidearm into the shoulder holster hidden beneath her jacket. She let the door slam shut and stalked towards the crime scene, all the while keeping her eyes on the ground, looking for something that may have been missed by the detectives and crime scene techs. Her subconscious knew that nothing had been missed, but her ego told her to keep looking, so she did. She mimicked what she had seen the techs so and started her search at the cracked driveway, slowing making her way to the end of the parking lot and then turned around and made her way back. She did this over and over again until she had covered the entire decrepit parking lot and surrounding sidewalk. After two long, exhausting hours, the search was over and she felt the exact same as she had before coming here-lost, completely and utterly lost. Lost didn’t accurately sum up the feeling she had lodged in the pit of her stomach. She felt like a failure, completely useless and completely out of her element. Marcus had been right-she was so far out of her element here but she was unwilling to admit defeat even when it was sitting on her shoulders.