The Medicine Cat Code

Chapter 8

The kits were three moons old; Bluekit she could see. She could only pray that Rainkit was doing as good as he was.

Bluekit was chasing Oakkit around just outside the entrance to the nursery, tackling the larger kit and rolling around for a bit. Icekit chased after them, and Creekkit was just behind. They were having a grand old time. To them, Bluekit was their littermate, and she was just a bit of a runt.

Silverpaw sighed. She knew she'd never get a Warrior Name. The Clan was ashamed of her existence, and she'd never get a proper suffix. She'd never get to sit vigil or go on patrols alone. She would be stuck in Apprentice limbo forever. She would be eight years old, and still be Silverpaw. She would go to StarClan as Silverpaw.

She slowly stood up and padded out of the den. She almost tripped over Bluekit as he rushed under her paws. Her stomach flipped and she quickly stumbled away, her ears hot and numb with confusion. She wanted so badly to be a mother to Bluekit, to coddle him and groom him and celebrate his milestones. She felt like she was about to vomit.

She scrambled into the woodlands, jumping through the forest in a state of discomfort and panic. She scrambled across a log and collapsed in the clearing around the Owl Tree, whose owl had been vacated for almost three generations.

She collapsed in the sun, unable to feel its warmth. She craved to see Bluekit and see him call her moma, or to just see Rainkit once. She sent a caterwaul of pain into the sky, and nothing happened. The world didn't change. Her cried emptied unheard into the world.

She fell asleep and was haunted by dreams of her kits mothered by two different queens, never noticing her or remembering the day she pushed them from her belly.