Up here

Weight Watchers

Today is the day she's allowed herself to check her weight. This whole thing has become an obsession to her. Eating, exercising, weighing. Her whole life revolves around food, but ironically, she refuses to eat much of it.

She knows other girls and boys suffer like her and would never wish this deadly habit on anyone else, but she continues. She's crumbling inside but can't stop. Her mind has taken control of her. Control. That's what she wants. That's what all of them want. But when they have it, they abuse it without meaning to.

She counts on her fingers how many meals she's had since last night. One...is that it? Really? She tries to think of any snacks she might have snuck into her mouth, but no. That was it. Lunch at 1:00 pm. It's now 4:27 pm.

Everyone's out of the house, that's why she's pulled out the scale on the bathroom floor. She would never check her weight in front of anyone. She knows they would chastise her, telling her that this is unhealthy and all that stuff. She knows. She knows what she's doing is bad, but can't stop. She cries herself to sleep because she wants to stop. But she can't. It's become an obsession that can't be easily tossed aside.

She checks herself in the full-body mirror. She looks skeletal, but her thinness doesn't satisfy her. She sucks her tummy in as she glances at the mirror once more. She looks sickly but that's what she's going for. She doesn't quite understand why.

She steps onto the scale, hoping she'd reached her personal goal of 6 stone. A healthy weight for a girl like her, her doctor says, is about 7 stone. She sometimes aches to put on weight and be healthy, but her obsession wins her over.

She tilts her head to read the scale. 83.5 lbs. She smiles to herself. She reached her goal. Everyone she knows would disapprove of this, yet she's filled with a sense of satisfaction.

"I did it," she mumbles to herself with excitement. And with that, she sets a new goal for next week as she puts the scale away just as she had found it.

***

A/N: Please, don't do this to yourself. I understand society thinks being thin is fashionable and good, but learn the truth before you go starving yourself. It's not worth it. Your brain begins to deteriorate, your organs will stop functioning, and you will lack an incredible amount of energy. That's not healthy at all. Please look out for yourself and others. If you know someone who's suffering from any type of eating disorder, help them. You don't even have to do much, just let them know you're there for them. Eating disorders are mental illnesses, don't ignore it. This doesn't only apply to girls, it affects any gender of any age. I may not know much about this, but please don't fall into this vicious cycle of obsession, go get help.