((This follow my headcanon that the Ancients still have meetings to discuss matters.))
It has come to our attention that several Ancients have behaved in ways unfit for our age and stature. As such, we believe it will be most effective to give each Ancient a contract that outlines the unacceptable behavior that has been preformed in the past. This is your copy, do not lose it.
Please read everything carefully before signing.
1. You will not attack Persia with your pet owl.
2. You will not say it's funny if he does it without you telling him to.
3. You will not argue with Macedonia about who Alexander belongs to.
4. You will not freak out if someone tosses you and apple instead of handing it to you.
5. What is with you and the apples?!
6. You will not threaten to bring Greek fire to the next meeting.
7. You will not try to argue that Turkey should not be at these meetings.
8. You will not act huffy when your argument about him is rejected.
7. Seriously, you are more salty than the Mediterranean sea.
8. You will not bring your bow and arrow to ANY meetings.
9. In the event of a fight, you will NOT use a vase as a weapon.
10. You will not threaten to throw anyone into the River Styx, no matter how much they annoy you.
11. You are not allowed to start fights with Troy.
12. You are not allowed to glare at Troy from across the table.
13. You are not allowed to threaten Troy with a dagger.
14. Especially if it's the same dagger you used to kill him.
15. You will not talk to Troy during the meetings.
16. You are not allowed to go near Troy during the meetings.
17. You are not allowed to mention the story of Romulus and Remus around Rome.
18. Even if you don't know why it's such a big deal.
19. You are not allowed to embarrass Rome with stories of your marriage.
20. You are not allowed to talk about your divorce.
21. You are not allowed to freak people out with your visions.
22. You will refrain from using the word "barbarian" to describe ANYONE.
23. You are not allowed to punch Rome.
24. You are not allowed to kick Rome.
25. You are not allowed to mock Rome in front of the others.
26. You are not to say that Rome reminds you of his father.
27. Keep in mind that the names of your gods are only their names in YOUR culture.
28. You will not threaten to turn anyone into the Gordian Knot and then slice them in half.
29. You will not deny responsibility if you do engage in fighting during the meetings.
30. Blaming your Spartan side is not an acceptable excuse.
31. Blaming your Thracian side is not an acceptable excuse either.
32. Just to be safe, you are not allowed to spar with anyone during the meetings.
33. An entire jar of olives is NOT considered a snack.
By signing this document, I hereby vow to accept this contact and all the responsibilities that comes with it.
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