Against the Odds

Chapter 23: Relationships

Marie had just shut the door to the room and opened her carrier bag when Sherlock burst into the room. She glanced back at his noisy entrance but ignored him as she pulled out her nightclothes.

Sherlock shuffled a little as he closed the door warily, watching the silent woman as she continued about her business. "Marie-" he began and she cut him off as she said scornfully: "Oh, you remembered my name did you?"

He winced at the bite in her words, but tried again as he murmured: "Marie, I-" He flinched as she turned on him. Her eyes flashed angrily as she spat: "Get out." His heart stopped in that moment as he stared at her. "Marie-"

"Get out, go find John, and apologize." She thundered at him and Sherlock frowned. He stepped forward, grabbing her arms as he faced her. Her eyes narrowed at him dangerously but he ignored it as he demanded: "I will apologize. I know I was wrong. But why are you only angry about what I said to John?"

She looked at him pointedly, waiting. He continued to look confused so she sighed as she muttered: "Sometimes I forget you do have a part of you that's a sociopath." He just waited for her to continue so she explained it to him: "I'm also angry about what you said to me, and how you ignored me when I wanted to help you while you were in pain."

He started but she wasn't finished. "But I was more hurt than anything else. And I know you were just lashing out. But you can't hurt John like that. I can handle you being, well, you. But don't do that to John. And you still need to apologize." She added while Sherlock just stared at her.

He blinked slowly before he sighed: "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

She replied sharply: "You didn't do it with your charming personality, I can tell you that." She was surprised however when Sherlock ignored her jab and pulled her into a hug, digging his face into her hair as he wrapped his arms around her.

She blinked, unsure how to respond but then she felt him shaking. Her heart softened, and she wrapped her arms around Sherlock tightly, pulling him close and giving him the comfort he sought. He took several shaky breaths as he clutched her, and Marie stroked back soothingly.

"It's alright, Sherlock. We'll figure it out." She soothed him and he let her, allowing her warmth and her kind words to bathe him, just as he had rejected John's efforts to help. He murmured: "It was the first time I've been so afraid, that I've felt so much doubt. I've always trusted my senses and suddenly..." He trailed off and she just patted him reassuringly, staying silent and letting him pour everything out.

"I don't know what to think, and that scared me." Sherlock admitted at last. He was surprised when his body calmed and the awful clenching in his heart smoothed out at his admission. Marie felt it too in the way his body seemed to relax just slightly, and she pulled back to look at him. She saw his confused look and she whispered: "Feeling better?"

He nodded numbly, looking a little unsure. Marie smiled a little, placing a gentle hand against his cheek as she explained: "That's how feelings work, Sherlock. Yes, emotions can be destructive, limiting in some ways as they block our clearest vision. But, when we accept the feelings honestly and we let it wash through us- not over us and not trying to stop its flow- it can also be a powerful stimulant."

He gazed down at her thoughtfully. "Is that what you think?" He asked and she replied softly: "It's what I know. I've been a heartless killing machine before," he frowned, regretting his earlier temper tantrum at her but she just said gently, "and I've learnt to love again. When I compare that... I know I am far stronger now than I was then, when I didn't care for anything, not even the safety of my own body."

He looked down at her quietly and he asked in a small voice: "Forgive me?" She looked him in the eye, and saw his sorrow, his pain, his fear, and his sincere regret. She smiled as she nodded. His lips curved into an answering smile and he began to bend down towards her when she jerked back.