group home » stylinson au {DISCONTINUED}

one | crazy

dedication to @fantasticmari for the edit! xx

I hastily walk to my room that I share with nameless stranger. Yeah, that's what I'll call him for now.

He snatched my duffle bag from me and ran into our room.

Our room. Will I ever get used to saying that?

Probably not.

I stumble into the room behind him and I watch as he throws the bag on a bed in the corner of a fairly large room.

"That's your bed. The one that I'm sitting on is mine and mine only. Got it?"

"G-got it."

"Why are you so fragile?"

My head snaps up from unpacking as I stare at him with wide eyes, which quickly turn into a look of anger.

"You don't know anything about me, so leave me alone."

I sighed and resumed unpacking my clothes and folding them.

"Seriously. I mean, I know you think I'm an ass — which I am — but I just want to get to know you. Why do you always act as if you're going to lose everything all at once? Like the world is closing in on you. What makes you crazy?"

"I-I'm not crazy."

"Then why are you here? Only crazy people belong here."

"You do realize you're calling yourself crazy, right?"

I am now towering over him as he sat on his bed. I scoff, turn around, and walk back to my bed to finish unpacking.

"I am crazy — and so are you — I'm just brave enough to accept it."

This time I stay quiet because I know he's right. I am crazy. I just can't bring myself to accept it.

"Where's Krista and the other kids?"

I turn around to face him as I wait for a reply. He furrows his eyebrows into a look of confusion. The look soon dissolves and his confusion disappears as he opens his mouth to speak.

"They're on a field trip, but I wasn't allowed to go, so you're stuck with me until they get back. Which is in..."

He looks up to the clock fixed on our wall.

"....two hours."

I'll take a nap. Yeah, that's what I'll do! I'll just take a two hour nap because there is no way in hell I'm staying awake in a room with him for two hours.

I unpacked the last of my clothes, folded them neatly, put them away, and layed down on my bed.

Right as my eyes were beginning to close, nameless stranger chuckles loudly.

"You are not going to sleep. I wanna learn more about you, Ed."

"I don't even know your name and you want to learn more about me?"

"Louis."

"That's your name?"

"You asked, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"So tell me... why are you here?"

"Will you tell me why you're here when I finish?"

"I promise."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Mhm."

"So are you gonna tell me?"

"Y-yeah."

"Go ahead. I'm listening."

When he said that he sounded so sincere. Like he meant it. It sounded as if he actually cared about what I had to say. Nobody's cared before, except my mum and Gemma of course. Right now, I feel like I can tell him anything.

"Okay. So when I was in ninth grade these boys always made fun of me and kept telling me that I was fat and ugly and that no girl would want me..."

Louis nods, urging me to continue.

"Then in the tenth grade, I came out as gay."

That earned a smile from him, but as soon as it was there — it was gone.

"Then they started teasing me saying that no guy would ever like me either because I'm fat and ugly. I believed them and every time I looked into the mirror I was horrified out how disgusting I looked. I began to throw up every time I ate. It was self inflicted. As time passed I couldn't get anything to stay in my stomach, food didn't even taste good anymore. I still ate though. I ate for my mum and I ate for Gemma. Gemma is my older sister, by the way. I still made myself throw up, but I couldn't stop eating because I needed some form of nutrients in my body. Those tiny portions of nutrients kept me alive, but one day I was in the bathroom after dinner so I could... you know..."

I scratch the back of my neck in regret at what happened next in my little tale.

"My mum walked in on me. She...She was horrified. I'll never forget the look on her face. She just looked so scared for me and she bursted into a fit of sobs. I felt horrible for making my mum cry, so I began to cry too. We spent the night crying together and in the morning she took me to a mental asylum. I stayed there for seventeen weeks, but they said that they didn't find any progress in my mental state. So they sent me here. They called me a 'high risk bulimic', as if I was a freak that needed to be watched all the time. Now I realize that I am."

I looked down and when I did I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I am ashamed. Louis probably thinks I'm a freak, but when I look up I see his eyes wide like saucers. His eyes were filled with tears, which made his eyes shine under the light of the bendy lamp above him. His eyes truly are beautiful. They looked straight into mine and I saw a tear fall from his eye.

"We really are alike, Ed. We're so much more alike than you know."