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five | your superman

dedication to styIinsun bc she's a loyal reader and she's my friend and her book is amazing. c:

I look to Louis with pure worry on my face. Pad rooms!?  What the hell are the pad rooms!? He reassures me that everything will be fine; and I watch as he picks up his sandwich with shaky hands and takes a big bite. His cheeks are full, so I imagine he hasn't managed to swallow yet. Not wanting to seem like a baby, I do the same. I chew and chew and chew before swallowing with a big gulp. Tears begin to fall down my face, knowing I won't be able to get rid of all this new fat on my skin. I take another bite, and another and another before I finish the entire sandwich. Louis is still sitting with the food in his mouth, but he's not eating. He's sitting perfectly still; not moving a single muscle. Almost as if he's dead, but I know he's not. I can hear his shortened breaths that are cut off from the food in his mouth.

"Swallow, Louis.", I whisper. "Please..."

I nod to him and rub his back to let him know I'm here. I may have only just met him, but I feel this attraction to him. It's strong. Stronger than anything I've ever felt before.

He nods quickly, yet slowly and I watch as he swallows and his adams apple bobs up and then down. Krista is across from us, smiling.

"Harry, may I talk to you for a second?"

"Yes, Ms. Krista."

I walk and follow her to the vacant living room; away from Louis.

"You're truly remarkable, you know that Harry?"

My eyes grew wide and I look to her eyes.

"How?"

"Nobody's ever gotten Louis to voluntarily eat. In all his time here, he's never ate without being pressured, sedated, or sent to the pad rooms. You're special."

I smile. Not because I'm 'special', but because I'm probably so special to Louis that I can get him to eat. I smile because I've helped him. I smile because he's my friend. I smile because he needs me.

Someone needs me.

Those words ring in my mind as I watch Krista smile at me and walk away. I scurry back toward Louis to comfort him. He's awfully upset about having to eat and I understand. He's sobbing into my shirt and I let him. I walk him upstairs to our room and help lay him on the bed. I crawl in beside him and hold him in my arms. His sobs ring through the room and then he says the words that hurt me. Not because they're rude, but because they're untrue.

"I-I'm fat, Haz."

He let a lie slip through his lips. A terrible, nasty, lie. I lift up his shirt a bit to see his very noticeable ribs against his thin skin. And just below his ribcage is a hollowed, caved in stomach. It sinks in and makes his hipbones easy to see. They're poking against my leg. They're sharp and there. It makes me wonder how he doesn't feel any discomfort in this shape. Doesn't it hurt to bump into someone? I wince, thinking of his hipbones smashing into a stranger's. The excruciating pain he must feel. It hurts me that he has to live this way. He shouldn't have to and he doesn't deserve to. He could die and I don't want him to die and deep down he knows that he doesn't want to die. Everyone wants to die, but there's always a part of them telling them not to. But for some people that part is smaller than others.

"Lou. You are not fat. I want you to look at yourself. Look at your stomach. Lift up your shirt and look. Lou, your freaking ribcage is about to pop out your skin and so are your hipbones! You are far from fat, but you're far too skinny. You're wasting away. Your skin is paler than pale and your body is cold to the touch. You can't live like this, Lou. I won't let you. I'll save you... even if it's the last thing I do."

He looks up at me with wide glimmering eyes.

"So you'll be like my very own personal superman?"

"Yes, Louis. I'm your superman and I won't let anything happen to you."

"Another thing."

"Yeah, Lou?"

"Since when have you called me Lou?"

The ends of his mouth curl up into a small smile, but his eyes have changed from pain and sadness to hope and love. Maybe love. I'm not exactly sure. He can't love me, can he? We've only just met. But maybe he feels how I do. I wouldn't call it love, but a very strong attraction. And in the near future, I do want to love him. And I want him to love me.

"Just started today. And I like it, but it doesn't top Haz."

yeah, so this book is gonna be top!harry if you don't like it; i'm sorry but this is the format of this book and if it makes you not want to read then so be it, but this whole "who tops" war is quite stupid. if you think louis tops or harry tops it shouldn't divide this ship. and it shouldn't make you like a story any less. so if you're reading and you think harry tops, great! if you think louis tops, great! i don't really care and it doesn't affect which books i choose to read so it shouldn't affect the books you choose to read. just keep that in mind.