Thought About It Lately
I have had the thought run through my mind a lot lately.
I have had the urge to run the blade across my skin.
I want to feel the skin breaking.
I want to see the blood come out and slide down my arm and start to drip.
I want to have the blade in my hand to mess with.
I need the pain.
I need the satisfaction.
I need the blade.
I want to know that I am in control
I want to know I can still feel emotion.
I feel that I have died inside.
I feel that I have no reason to live
I feel that I am the reason for others pain.
I feel that I am the reason for hate.
Is it bad I want to see blood?
Is it bad that I blame myself?
