The Art Of Listening

Chapter 8

I looked at the bathtub and suddenly it struck me that he wanted me to take a bath, which meant me getting naked. I can't be naked in front of Jax, I haven't been naked in front of anyone but Brad and he didn't have the nicest things to say about my body. I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment as my mind churned. "What has you blushing like a school girl?" His voice jolted me out of my thoughts. "Um, you aren't going to bathe me, right? I mean I am a bit sore, but I can certainly wash myself." I said while looking at my feet. 

Jax's cool, gentle hand cupped my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. "Artemis, I would never want to make you uncomfortable. Get cleaned up and put fresh clothes on. When you are finished, I want to look over your injuries, if that is ok." I offered him a nod and small smile. He placed a gentle kiss to my forehead that shocked me, before leaving the bathroom. I shook my head, which hurt, and slipped my ruined gown off before gently climbing into the tub. I hissed slightly as the warm water hit the scrapes all over. I quickly scrubbed my body, even though it hurt. I wanted every trace of Brad off of me.

The water was full of blood and dirt by the time I was finished, so I also rinsed off with the shower head. Jax had left me some sleep shorts and a tank top, so I quickly dressed before making my way into my bedroom. Jax smiled as soon as he saw me. "Come here, Artemis. You should lay down and let me see how badly you're hurt."  I sat on the edge of the bed and Jax checked my head over with gentle hands. His hands glided over my shoulders and down my arms, inspecting each bump, scrape, and bruise. His fingers lifted the bottom of my shirt and rested it just below my breasts. I shivered at his touch, my heart was pounding because I knew I wanted his hands on me. I wanted him to touch me.

"Artemis lay back." His voice washed over me and suddenly I was very warm. I laid back and his fingers traced my ribs, down over my stomach, and glided over my hips. I felt my breathing pick up as he checked over each leg. I felt like I was going to explode, never had I felt this way and my face was probably bright red. "Turn over." I complied immediately. His hands journeyed all over my back, neck and the backs of my legs. My limbs felt like jelly. I was lost in my very inappropriate thoughts, thoughts of Jax's mouth all over my body, following the path his hands had taken. Thoughts of Jax making love to me. I bet he would be gentle at first.

"Artemis? Where did you go? I have been trying to get your attention." Jax's voice shook me back to reality and my face burned brighter. "Um, sorry, I was just, um. What were you saying?" I stuttered. He chuckled, "What were you thinking about?"  I answered quickly, "Nothing, nothing really." He eyed me for a moment before smirking. "Ok then. You should get some rest. I was thinking I could sleep in the guest room, in case you needed me." I nodded, "Yeah, sure. Thank you for everything, Jax." He smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Goodnight and sweet dreams, Artemis." I smiled in return, "Goodnight, Jax." I crawled under the covers as he left and sighed, what a night. It didn't take me long to fall asleep.

 I was walking through the cemetery and it was dark. The moon was large and shining offering it's light to guide my way. "Artemis, what are you doing out here at this time of night?" Jax asked. I smiled, "Looking for you." He walked up and took me into his arms, kissing me passionately. I melted against him, returning his kiss with equal passion. He pulled back and smiled, then he shoved me to the ground and began to laugh. "Why would I want you? I mean look at you, you are timid and mousy. Besides that, I need a real woman with a great body. You have too much fat on your hips and thighs and your breasts are far too small. Face it, I can do much better. Your blood, though, it smells incredible. That I will take." He grabbed me by my hair and lifted me up. He jerked my head to the side, exposing my neck and his fangs plunged into my flesh. I screamed.

I was woken by Jax's voice, "Artemis! Oh my God, are you ok?" I sat up quickly and looked at him, tears swimming in my eyes. "It was just a nightmare. I am sorry to have woken you." I whispered, afraid of my own voice. It may not have been real, but the pain in my heart from his words was. In an instant he was by my side, gently rubbing my back. "I can stay until you fall back asleep, if you want." I shook my head, "I'm ok. I don't want to keep you from your sleep."  He frowned, "Don't be silly, you aren't keeping me from anything."  I sighed, I really couldn't face him right now. I was fighting to keep the tears at bay. "Please, just go back to sleep. I promise that I am fine." He nodded and turned to leave, pausing at the door to look at me one last time before disappearing again.

I buried my face in my pillow and sobbed. I was a fool to think that someone like Jax would want someone like me. He is just being a good friend, but that is all he would ever want from me. The tears wouldn't stop and I knew that I would be getting no more sleep tonight. I heard footsteps and sat up to see Lorilee coming into my room. "Hey, let me help with those wounds, ok?" I nodded and she wiped a tear from my cheek. "I wish I could heal the pain in your heart, but I can't." I smiled at her, "It's ok. I appreciate all that you do for me." She cupped my cheek and chanted something, making my whole body warm again. The pain on the outside was gone. 

"I can't go back to sleep now. After that horrible dream, I really don't want to. I am going to make some tea, want some?" I asked her and she nodded. We headed down to the kitchen and I put on the kettle. As I sat across from Lorilee, I sighed. "When you look at me, what do you see? I mean physically. Are my hips and thighs too fat? Are my breasts too small? Am I too mousy? I mean, I guess I am not built like a real woman." I looked at her face and she looked angry. I started to apologize but she stopped me. "Artemis, that piece of shit has robbed you of your self-worth. You are beautiful, inside and out. You have a great body and any man would be lucky to have you. What the hell did you dream about?" 

I rubbed my face and told her about my dream. She smiled at me, "You like Jax? That's really great! You should tell him!" I looked at her and shook my head, "No, did you hear what I told you. The rejection in my dream was bad enough. Look at him, he is practically perfect. He's smart, handsome, has a great body. He's funny, sweet, patient, he deserves someone far better than me. That is a fact. Maybe if I lost a few pounds, gain a bunch of confidence and got plastic surgery, then I might be worth his time, but I doubt it." 

Before Lorilee could say a word, Jax stormed into the kitchen with a murderous look on his face. I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong, but he grabbed me under my arms and lifted me up so that we were face to face, then he spoke. "I never want to hear such idiotic things come out of your mouth ever again, do you hear me? I heard every single thing you said this morning. I don't agree with any of it." He set me down on my feet. "Now, you listen to me, because I want to make myself very clear." I nodded, and then he kissed me.