Struggles of a Teenage Lard-Ass

Chapter 1: Early Life of a Fat-Ass

ey! My name is Mckayla Cobb! I'm just an average teen with mental and physical problems with myself! Just kidding.. that was way to positive, but whatever...
Anywho, back to the sob story that is my life.
I was born and raised in a tiny town in Pennsylvania. When I was born, my mother described me as "the ugliest looking baby she's ever seen" and that I "looked like an alien" but she always meant it as joke. I was born too early so I was incredibly small. I was only five ponds and was about fifteen inches long. The doctors said I would always be small- well they were wrong!
I was a bitchy/bratty baby and all I did was cry and eat. Basically, I never changed.

When I was younger I was aware that I was different, but I usually said "fuck it" and went on with my life anyway not caring. It was pretty great. I wish I could go back to that attitude, but unfortunately I can't.

I've been this depressed, self-loathing self since I was about 9 or 10. That's when I truly realized how overweight I was, and I realized this by the harassment of my piers. In the past being called "chubby" didn't phase me, but when I realized that I hated my chub, those small comments got to me. I would usually wear a range of black to neons. Weird color choices I know, but they made me feel better. This is when I started to get into the whole "gothic" style also. I was always interested in dark things like ghosts, but this is when I discovered goth fashion and was immediately drawn to it. Even though I cried myself to sleep thinking about how fat and useless I was, in the morning I would put on my black/neon clothes from Justice and sneak some black eyeshadow on to really show my "inner darkness". Looking back, this style choice influenced how I dress today a little bit.

Back then all I wanted was to be in a relationship. I was in love with the thought of love. I was always switching who I had a crush on and who I'd want to marry. I'd even draw photos and dream about my life with these people. But, I had no luck. I was the fat ugly kid with acne at 10 and no one liked me. Even though in my head I knew this, I never let that stop me. I was always trying to change myself and acting a certain way so people would like me. Let me just say, it didn't work. I was still the lonely piece of garbage I am today. But at least today I have one friend. Before this whole "emo depressed shit" went on, I was actually kind of popular. I had a ton of friends and the only people who didn't like me where the people who were convinced I was a "Witch" or a "Vampire" or some other stupid shit like that. I had a particular group of friends who was more interesting than the others. I was friends with a very popular kid and we would always talk about plans for a "submarine" that we'd own. And I'm this madness I met one of my very best friends Breanna. We were in the same class and I don't really know how we started to talk, but all I know is that we have been friends ever since and we have never fought over anything. She's pretty great.