Amanda

Amanda was a small, frail girl with long blonde hair, and blue eyes that once lit up her face. She was awfully quite but when she did talk, she had trouble pronouncing the words. She would stutter sometimes and would always pause for a second before saying the next word. She was also a bit socially awkward. I think she had a mental  disorder. I don't believe it was autism... I find it pathetic how I don't even know the name of the disorder that she was bullied for.

I still remember the day my friend leaned over and whispered into my ear, "Oh my gosh, look at Amanda. She's wearing a diaper!"

I looked to see for myself, and sure enough, there it was. Her shirt was tucked into the diaper so that it was clear as day.

I should have told her to fix her shirt. But with my judgmental friends all around me, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was too embarrassed and shy.

I learned later that some people don't have control of when they use the bathroom so they have to wear diapers.

It wasn't weird to her. It shouldn't have been weird to any of us.

But I did nothing. I kept my mouth shut and stayed on the sidelines. I didn't want to be a bully, I knew that was wrong. So instead of helping, I ignored the situation and simply didn't take part in the gossip about Amanda.

I also remember that day at recess. Amanda was with two other girls on the sidewalk. The girls weren't being mean to her, they simply asked her to sing. So she did.

I thought it sounded beautiful. When she sang, her stutter seemed to disappear, and she sang as a beautiful Soprano. When she stopped the girls laughed and told her to sing again.

At the sound of their laughter, Amanda shrank back and refused to sing. I don't think the girls meant to hurt her feelings by laughing, but they did.

The bullying changed Amanda. At the beginning of the school year she was kind, innocent, and quite. But by the end of the school year, she was refusing to listen to the teacher and had gained quite an attitude.

As she learned to defend herself from her bullies, she thought that it was okay to talk back to teachers as well. When the teachers would ask her to sit down at her desk she would reply with, "NO! I don't... Wanna!"

Her bullies changed her. And I did nothing to help. I regret not trying to become her friend when she was teased. I don't even know what happened to her. I think she moved away, and everyone seemed to forget about her.

I didn't.

I've forgotten many of my elementary school classmates but the one person that I haven't forgotten, was the little, frail, Blonde girl, that I was too foolish not to defend.