Affair With My cousin

2.Trouble awaits (part 1)

I kissed Shanon again.

I can't believe I freaking did it. That's what my mind kept on screaming the whole day. It was quick and our lips barely touched but I can't get over the feeling. His lips tasted the same like two years ago when we first kissed, sweet and dry, delicious and inviting. What confused me is that he didn't try to push or stop me. He was rather dumbfounded. His eyes widened and lips parted open. Maybe he was emotionally paralyzed to even react or maybe he was surprised or perhaps he didn't like it? Hell, I don't even know.

These questions kept on popping into my head the moment I was tucked in bed, my cousin right by my side, like it has always been. The day went by quickly and we didn't talk about it at all. Julie, my younger sister, came home after around an hour, and kept on raving about how her boyfriend took her to a fancy restaurant with his new car and she blabbered about what they had for lunch. My parents came in not long after her, and they kissed and hugged Shanon and caught up with him.

Shanon laughed and talked with me like nothing happened so why am I making a big fuss out of it? I mean I could do it again and he won't suspect a thing. But in the end, I will only hurt myself. Maybe I should see how things go in the next few days then confront him about my feelings? I've been dying to just blurt it out and get it over with. I gained some confidence after he opened up about his breakup. Yet, I've been frightened and frustrated at the thought of losing Shany forever.

"You awake?" his voice sounds next to me, snapping me out of it. I look at him, but darkness is all I see. We've been lying in bed for around thirty minutes after we said good night and I couldn't sleep.

"Yeah I am."

"You know, although I came here only today, I already feel better. Today was magical... Life is too short to live it worrying about the past and holding grudges when there are people who care about you, nearer than you think. I don't know what I would do without you Josy. Heck, if you weren't like my sweet littsister, I would've dated you because I know you won't hurt me."

My heart stops beating for a second as I hear those words, they are like a knife that stabs me on my back and keeps on twirling without mercy.

"Still awake?" Shanon lifts his body and gets closer to me, his breath tickling my face and I feel the salty tears spilling from my eyes. He wants to see if I'm still awake.

"Hmmm,..." I mumble and make sure my sniffing is not loud enough to hear and I rub the tears from my eyes as he puts his head back on the pillow.

"Are you sleepy?"

"Yeah..." I fake a sleepy tone and turn on my other side. I don't think I can hear more. If I thought before that I had a chance with him, he now proved me wrong. Officially friendzoned!

"Oh good night then" he whispers.

I lay awake in bed for what feels like hours, silently crying and stripping myself of all of my emotions. After all, I have to dry myself out of these thoughts before sunrise. Tomorrow will have to be another normal day where we chat and laugh and hold hands and where I die a little bit more inside.

••••••

The next morning, I wake up before Shanon and go to have a refreshing shower and put on some comfy shorts and a crop top. Washing away last night's conversation had to be done. I had to gain some confidence back and now I'm determined to tell him in a way or the other. It's around nine when I go downstairs to the kitchen where a yummy smell fills the air.

"Lucky Shanon! He got you up early preparing breakfast on a Sunday morning, how lucky he is!" my mom turns to me, her auburn short hair in a ponytail and her face lightly powdered with makeup.

"Morning sunshine. Did you sleep well?" she gives me a small smile and a quick hug before turning back to the oven.

"Hmmm... Yeah." I lie, although I barely slept like two hours. I kept on thinking about scenarios of how I will tell him and how he will react. And I abandoned each one fearing that it will harm our friendship.

"Would you please make these scrambled eggs for me Jose? I have to take care of the plants and water them." my mom has always had a green thumb which explains why our backyard is full of trees, bushes and flowers. Whenever we camp in there, it feels like a real forest.

"Sure." I take her place and she disappears from the kitchen and I see dad outside helping her. I turn the radio on to listen to some morning tunes when a body comes behind me, stands adjacent to mine and covers my eyes with their palms. It's from the ticklish air dancing around my neck that I know it's Shanon. The air is cool and refreshing that my body jerks without my consent. Adding to it, the proximity at which our bodies are at is really not helping my case. My body heats up suddenly and I stop dead in my tracks. It's only when he lets out a long sigh that I realize I haven't spoken a word.

"This became too old, didn't it?" he removes his hands as he draws away from me and takes a seat by the table. I look at him and see that he is shirtless and his shorts are hanging loose on his hips, revealing a little bit of his V line. He has kind of started developing a six pack. Even his biceps are more muscular than last year.

"G'morning to you too Josy." He laughs, tugging at the root of his messy hair and I feel the heat creeping to my cheeks as I turn my gaze to the scrambled eggs. This boy will be the death of me. Why does he have to look sexy? Is this another sign that I should just tell him? Maybe if I just hint at it he'll know? Or the best way would be to talk straight to the point.

"Why didn't you wake me up when you did?"

"Uh I was going to prepare breakfast and then wake you up."

"Okay, hurry then we don't have much time." he winks at me and I give him a hesitant look. "Don't look at me like you forgot! We planned to go for a run with Julie."

"Yeah, yeah. Of course I didn't forget. Julie is still asleep though. Let's go alone, I need to tell you something." I totally forgot. We must've planned it yesterday when I was thinking about that kiss. But this is my chance now. I need a distraction first, something that will make me breathe deeply and think. Then I'll be ready to tell him.

"She'll kill us when she wakes up but okay. Don't worry, I'll tell her it was your idea." he sticks his tongue out when my parents come into the kitchen. We eat our bacon and scrambled eggs and Shanon and I excuse ourselves when we finish. We change into our sporty gear and leave the house.

The weather is especially hot today, with a clear sky and a few blows of the breeze. We run in silence like we always do and I can't help beingp absentminded the whole time. How should I start? Remember our kiss two years ago? I kinda like it. No. Shanon, I think I love you. No way. I felt betrayed when you had your first girlfriend. Ugh.

Every option I thought of, my mind keeps on rejecting it. They all sound stupid in my head. I look at him and he's running by my side, some sweat drops falling from his forehead. He looks rather peaceful which relieves me. Maybe it's all im my head, maybe he'll accept me and hug me and say he loves me too?

"I'm thirsty. Let's get something from Starbucks." we stop running as he says and takes my hand in his as we go inside not knowing what is waiting for us...

(To be continued)

Question time: what/who do you think is waiting for them? ;)

How will Shanon react when Josy will tell him she loves him?

I hope you like it. Please vote and leave a comment telling me your thoughts.