Kat's Queen

Pun Battle

A/N: HELLO AGAIN! I'M GONNA UPDATE EARLY, BECAUSE I MIGHT BE A BIT BUSY THIS WEEKEND!

(Kat's pov) the next day

I walked into the lunchroom with Raven tailing behind me. We grabbed lunch and sat down. But then, I could practically feel the tension in the air wafting towards me. I abruptly turned my head to see Rebecca and Satan glaring at each other. I tilted my head curiously. "What's up?"

Rebecca had a dangerous look in her eye. "She says that she can make better puns than me."

Satan looked furious. "That's because I CAN!"

Rebecca was about to reply, but was interrupted by Raven, who shot out of her seat. "There's only one way to fix this! A pun battle! And I call judge!"

I weirdly grinned. I'm not sure if this is annoying or amusing, but I'll watch.

Angel started laughing. "Seriously?! Why am I not surprised?"

Raven moved next to them. "Alright! Since from what I can tell, Satan waged war. So Rebecca gets to start!"

People around us sighed. But both looked determined. Rebecca started, "I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me." Raven started laughing. Seriously?

Satan stood tall. "How did I escape Iraq? Iran." Oh god. Even I smiled at that one. She went there.

Unicorn seemed to somehow magically appear in the background, unicorn onesie and all. She had her hand in a box of popcorn. "Fight to the death." she whispered with an intense look in her eye.

The 'battle' went on like so:

Rebecca: What do you call security outside of the Samsung store? Guardians of the galaxy.

Satan: Did you hear about the guy that was in the head by a can of soda? He's lucky that it was a soft drink.

Rebecca: I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

Satan: What's the worst part about having a party in space? You have to planet!

Rebecca: I wasn't going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Satan: I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

Rebecca: I used to go fishing with skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.

Satan: What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.

Rebecca: I came up with a grate pun, but I think it's too cheesy. . . 

Satan: A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.

After that, I could no longer stand this. I pulled them apart. "You both annoy me. You're done." But, with one last spark of inspiration I spoke, "Wasn't the invention of the shovel ground breaking?"

They all stared at me with wide eyes. That's right, I can make a joke too, suckers. "I win."

Raven snapped out of it first. "Unfortunately, love, you're not in the competition. But you still won my heart!" she winked at me. I swear to god, I'm actually going to punch her one of these days. Seriously. What's her deal. Besides, my pun was great. I still call myself the winner.

"But," Raven continued, "I can't decide who won. So, I'm going to break the fourth wall and say that readers can comment who they want to win. Only one comment per person please!"