magoa.

the night

***

it was the 21st of February.
   music. lights. screams. people. him.

i was standing at the corner of the room, laughing with all my friends. this, perhaps is the last party that we would all be together. complete.

  i wasn't usually the type who go to parties, and getting high, and maybe, getting drunk of iced tea. if it wasn't for my mum forcing me to go here, i wouldn't come. but there's practically one certain reason why i agreed to.

it's because of him.

he was there. sitting on a chair near the stairs that leads up to the stage. he's got a dark hair, and hazel brown eyes. beautiful ones. the kind you could get lost in.

i was staring at him. he was smiling, showing his perfect white teeth. then he turned his head to my direction. our eyes locked, and i could feel my heart racing. but i turned away. i don't want to get lost in his eyes. but i still did anyway.

but, of course, i found my eyes coming back to him. he wasn't looking at me anymore. and what i've seen next, was already enough to break my heart: he was looking at her. i could see the way his eyes would glimmer whenever he sees her.

i drifted my gaze away. i can't take the pain forming inside my chest. i tried to distract myself, by laughing. albeit my heart was beginning to break into pieces.

then we were dancing. it's funny how things could change so quickly. we're freaking out. like mad women. but at the midst, of our insane dancing, i saw him walking towards our way. he was holding a rose, and then my heart races. questions swirled around in my head, thinking to whom would he give that rose? what if...what if it's for me?

he was only a few inches from me, and stars were covering the sides of my heart. his eyes find mine, and i almost smiled, but he turned away and walked past me. my eyes followed him, and he gave the rose to my friend who was all dancing crazy. the look on her face was priceless. she didn't expect it.

    but before she accepted it, she looked at me first, as if she was saying " if it's okay. " of course i nodded. because who am i, to stop her when it's actually for her?

    she hesitated, but still took it. then she muttered to him with her eyebrows furrowing, "why? why for me?" he just smiled, then left. leaving her with a confused expression.

  i felt my heart sank. why can't he just give it to me? why? indeed, it was just a rose. a goddamn rose, but still. it hurts like hell.

then tears started flowing from my eyes. i tried to wipe it away, but it just won't stop. then my friend—to whom he gave the rose—hugged me. so tight. calming me, and telling me that it's okay. even though i know—we both know— it wouldn't ease the pain.

  she let go from the hug, and took my hand. she smiled at me, a reassuring smile, then said "if nobody's going to dance with us, then i'm going to."

  and we did. we danced.
      yes, i was laughing, but deep inside it still hurts. and when my eyes landed on him, dancing with another girl, it pained even more. so much more, i felt my knees tremble.

and then i collapsed. i was suddenly crying again, on her shoulder, hugging her tightly. when i let go and looked straight in her eyes, i saw my reflection through them and i pity myself. i pity myself because of all people, why did i loved the boy with the most beautiful eyes, who may or may not even notice me the way i've always had with him? of all people why him? why with someone who's already in love with somebody else?

just...

   ...why?

...why can't it be me?

***
a/n
  just so you know, this was based on a true story again. the date, everything. it was 100% true. it really hurts seeing your best friend look at you with pleading eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks. it was like i was actually seeing through her eyes, and that i could feel her pain. if only...if only i could do anything to help her, i would. but it's hopeless. i just wanna share with you guys her story, and i really really really hope you do like it. i almost cried when i was writing this. LITERALLY. sorry for the mistakes—the grammar, the spelling— i was in a rush hehehe. but the pain and hurt is there.

   hope you enjoyed :)

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