SoraMafu Stories~ [Part 3]

Hearing Voices

Trigger warning (I have problems)

         
Useless
Pathetic
They hate you
Such an idiot
Go die
Nobody needs you.

         Soraru curled into a ball, tears staining his cheeks once again. He couldn't help it, they fall without him knowing. He heard his phone ring, but isn't sure whether it is his imagination or reality.

Reality hurts.
Imagination hurts
Dreams hurt
Nightmares hurt.

I don't know what offer me comfort anymore.

        The raven-haired sat up, pulling his knees towards his legs as he stared blankly at the wall in front of him. He couldn't breathe, he feel like he isn't breathing, and yet, at the same time.. in reality, he is, but he doesn't want to breathe.

Do you get it?
The pain of being alone.
The voices are getting louder... somebody help me-!

        Silence seeped in from every direction and tears begun to well in Soraru's eyes again. He feels like commuting suicide. A hand around the razor, the make gripped it hard, until it drew blood and the familiar sting can be felt.

Nobody can help you.
You don't need saving.
You are past that stage.
Go die, nobody needs you.

          He thought of a familiar albino, with red eyes, and a pretty, happy smile, but the voices grew louder, to the extend that he couldn't think of anything but the voices.

Him?
You think he will love you?
Such an angel will never fall in love with such a dirty, ugly person
Like you.

         Soraru nodded to himself, agreeing with the voices. They are right, Mafu is an angel, he doesn't deserve that albino.

He is probably dating you because he feel sorry for you, fool.
Don't get arrogant because you get pitied.

         Soraru picked up a metal box and opened it with shaking hands; it contains all the razors he had ever have. He picked one out, already rusted and old, and sliced his skin, not even wincing at the pain.
   
       "One for the bullies." His voice had never sound so empty before until now. A thin line of red appeared on his arm. "One for my useless existence." Another cut. "One for my parents." Soraru continued to cut, until his tears well up and dripped down; until he dropped the razor and pressed his hands to his eyes.

That's it.
More blood.
More!

      Soraru couldn't pick the razor up, his hands are shaking too badly. Instead, he curled back into a ball, before he gets moving and walked towards the desk, where he prepares some papers and set it out, ready to write letters for his loved ones, his blood staining the pristine, white paper.

To my parents,

I'm sorry. For everything.

To all my friends,

Take care, be sure to remember me.

To my siblings,

Brother is just going away for a long time. Okay? Take care, I love you guys.

To Mafu....

I love you. I'm sorry.

         
           Soraru ties a rope on the ceiling beam that had been left exposed. He carried a stool there, and climbed on top, and placed his head into the rope. With a flash of courage, he kicked off the stool and his legs kicked in the air for a moment, trying to find purchase on something. However, it soon stopped, and Soraru's body turned limp, as he swung from the rope.

I can't fight anymore.
THEY WIN. I GIVE UP.

A/N : this is sorta somehow just gotten into my brain at like 2 in the morning, halp. I have insomnia, but I feel like dying and somehow I feel really connected to this story because it's literally my life story right now so yay '-' anyway kinky series will be updated soon, I'm already working on it.

-Aru