He Tried to Kill Me...

Do we look like we'd kill you if you passed us in the street?

       

Tony was nice enough to give me and Vernon rooms in his tower, along with all of the other Avengers. Apparently, that's what the people call us. Vernon and I got nicknames too. Mine was "Angel" because of my wings. Vernon got "Flat-liner", hilarious since he had no heartbeat.

I was in my room and I needed to relax. Everyone else was jumpy and since I had to help with clean up, so was I. So, what did I do? I found the surround sound speakers and plugged in my music. The first song that came on was My Fault by Imagine Dragons. I belted out the lyrics as I sang. Next was Save Rock & Roll by Fall Out Boy. I danced around the room, singing into my hairbrush. Stay With Me by Sam Smith popped up next. I Jumped on my bed and pretended to be singing to imaginary fans. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Clint pop his head in the doorway. All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor showed up next and I hopped off the bed and pulled Clint in with me. I tossed him another hairbrush, which he snatched out of the air. I danced like I normally would, but Clint really got into it. He swung his hips around like a teenager and I almost fell on the floor laughing. We took the party out to where everyone else was and soon enough they joined in, although Nat took some cajoling.

It was time for the debriefing at the Hellicarrier. Two days ago, Loki and Thor went back to Asgard, and Thor returned earlier today. Fury told me earlier that we had to explain to the rest of the team about our 'vampire' nature.

Fury droned on and on for a while about the actual attack. I tuned out, leaving Vernon listening. I was knocked out of my trance by Vernon elbowing me. I looked up to see everyone staring at me.

"Dick." I shot at Vernon before turning to Fury. "I'm assuming it's time for an explanation for them?" Fury nodded, standing and leaving the room.

"Well, obviously, I am a vampire. Kudos to those who figured it out, and a 'do you live under a bloody rock' for those who didn't. I am currently 467 years old, with Vernon being a young 352. I was born, a human in Russia. My parents were in debt to someone, I don't know the specific someone, but to pay off their debt they gave me to the cult in our small town. Turns out, the whole cult was made of vampires. A vampire named Anton Vasiliev took the honor of changing me. As all young vampires are, I was full of bloodlust and tried to kill everything living. It took about three years for that to die down.

"I lived there for several hundred years, being trained and sent out to destroy other factions. Within a hundred years, we became the largest cult in Russia.

"In 1926, I think, Vasiliev took me and a group of five others to New York. He called it a 'scouting' mission. There, we got separated, and I came across a very nice man named Newt Scamander. He had an issue with his suitcase and creatures of some sort, so I helped him in exchange for two suitcases like his. He complied. About a week after that blew over, Vasiliev found me again. Three of the other five were killed by something, and we hopped the nearest boat back to Europe. There, the head of the entire cult, a very strong vampire named Vasiel Sokolov, decided to make me his newest test subject. He did a number of things I will not repeat and I came to have two extra powers, along with the ones I already had from being turned. I could now fly. The other power is called a mind-meld, I got the idea several years later after I escaped from a TV show called Star Trek. It, like it does in the TV show, allows me to connect my mind with another's and share thoughts. Vernon and I have actually been using one since the night in Germany.

"I escaped the facility in the 1950's, I think. I made my way over to the America's again, having liked it when I visited before. I met Vernon in, what was it, Alaska?" I looked at Vernon, who nodded.  "When we were hunting. I really dislike feeding on humans, so I was hunting grizzly. Vernon here pops in and tries to take my kill away, so naturally, I fight him and, obviously, I won. The annoying little brat kept following me around, so we somehow become friends. I gave him the other suitcase I had, and we slowly started filling it up, moving from place to place. We lived in California for a while, until one of Vernon's old buddies found us. So, we killed him and went on. Then we went to Michigan, able to stay for a good ten years before having to leave. That was the seventies. In the eighties, we moseyed on over to Mexico. Stayed there for even longer than Michigan because of the giant cult that had its base in Mexico City. We made a small deal with the leader and he allowed us to stay there for fifteen years. Then it was the nineties. I pissed off the leader and he put out a hit, which was our cue to leave.

"We came back to the US and stayed in South Dakota for three years before we had to move again. Then we moved to Arkansas for two years, South Carolina for another three, and we had been in New York for two years when Fury and Clint showed up. And throughout all of this, we were dodging spontaneous attacks from one of the three organizations that want to kill us." I sat down in a huff, letting Vernon take over.

"All vampires have the same basic powers: super speed, increased mental capacity, and strength. We, as you can tell by Eva, can survive very large falls without injury, as our skin is very, very hard. Barton, hand me that knife." Barton tossed a knife at Vernon. It embedded itself in the table. Vernon picked it up and slid it over his skin. Nothing happened. "See? We can also live without air, which means no drowning for us! Similar experiments to Eva were put onto me, except I was locked in an unused nuclear experimentation room, which altered the results some. I got the ability to change my appearance and teleportation." Vernon morphed his face into mine, then Thor's and Tony's. "It comes in quite handy when you need a quick getaway." I stifled a laugh at everyone's face. Tony looked like a kid at Christmas, Steve looked shocked, Clint was laughing at everyone else's reactions, Nat was impassive, Thor looked thoughtful, and Banner was mildly interested.

"Any questions?" I asked, leaning my head back against the chair.

"Well, you said you're a vampire. I'm assuming you drink blood? How do you get it?" Natasha asked first.

"Yes, we drink blood. Vernon and I are what you call 'vegetarians'. We don't drink human blood unless we really have to, although I will say I did kill one of Loki's men and drained him. His eyes weren't that bright blue, so he followed Loki of his own accord. I probably should, but I do not, feel guilty for killing bad people. Anyways, we drink animal blood. I don't have to feed as much as Vernon, because I'm older and have been able to stretch my limits more. Next?"

"How many colonies of you are there?" Steve asked.

"Well, there's more than you think. You see us? Do we look like we'd kill you if you passed us in the street?" Steve shook his head. "There's a large coven in Russia, that's where Eva was made. I was made in another large coven, just past the Canadian-US border. There's another, huge, coven in Mexico that currently wants to kill us, and I've heard rumors about one in China. There's little 'families' all over. A family consists of 5-20, by the way, and a coven is 20 or more. Eva and I are what you call a 'pair', which is two. Pairs are rare, because safety in numbers." Vernon explained.

"Since I pissed off the Russian and the Mexican covens and Vernon pissed off the Canadian coven, pretty much the entire underworld knows me, and through me, Vernon. The covens will send out hunting parties every so often when they get a lead, and they actually have a reward out for me and Vernon. A lot of money and a high place in the coven if they kill us. I can't even count how many times they've tried to kill us, but, obviously, they failed miserably. They're starting to learn not to mess with us. Besides Sokolov and Vasiliev and a few select others, I'm the oldest vampire. Sokolov bragged all the time about how he killed the one who changed him and how the one who changed him was the oldest vampire, but in reality, he's not that impressive." I said. I stood up.  "Fury!" I called. He came back in the door. "What happened to our suitcases?"

Fury put a finger to his ear. "Hill?" he said into it. The lady I saved on the hellicarrier walked in with our suitcases. I grabbed mine and set it on the table and sat back down.

"Anymore questions?"