To Be Free

It is easy, when you are young, to believe that what you desire is no less than what you deserve, to assume that if you want something badly enough, it is your God-given right to have it.

Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

    If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, the possibility of life is destroyed.

Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

    Ever since we escaped it hasn't been the same; we see wildfires and wild animals everyday. Being on the run is hard; the biggest obstacle is being the country's only fugitives.
The air is heavy, tension is slowly rising.

I don't sleep or eat very much anymore. They say my mentality is on the brink of insanity. I disagree with them. I can talk I just choose not to.

We're currently walking through Perdition Forest. Trust me the name is not deceiving, though it is distracting. I can't help but think about the struggles I've been through. The things that have happened on my journey are atrocious yet inevitable.

"Kierra! Come on! I think I see a waterfall ahead!" Mason yells excitedly.

Water, it sounds so foreign. We have not come across any in days. We've been living off of drops of Gatorade that Mason found in an old supermarket seven days ago; it was the only thing we found there.

When I arrive to the waterfall, the men go off to find wood for a fire so that the women can wash off in the beautiful cataract. As I undress, something falls out of my pocket. I turn around to pick it up; it's a picture of Sam, Xavier and I. As I look at our smiling faces an aggregate of memories floods through my mind.

***

    Xavier and I were sitting at our favorite tree during lunch in our royal-blue uniforms. The sun was shining; it made his beautiful blue eyes sparkle. Xavier had been my best friend since we were seven; we were inseparable.

That day he finally talked to me about his feelings. At first I ignored him because that is against the rules. We were not allowed to talk about our feelings until after the council told us who we are marrying. I started listening when he said, "Let's run away, you and I together. We could be free of this torture, no more uniforms, no more walls-"

    I cut him off quickly, "Stop talking like that! Saying things like that could get you killed. Besides, I have to stay for my sister. I won't leave her," I stormed off. What he said made my head spin; I ignored him for the rest of the day. I couldn't bare to think about what he told me.

After school was out, I walked the five miles to my little sister's school; however, when I passed the first school crossing, a bird flew at me, almost hitting my face. Birds are not common anymore; it's said that if you see one, in the near future you will have bad luck. I personally never believed that.

I picked my sister up from school, and we walked another mile before we got home. The entire time it took us to get back Sam, my sister, was coughing; I didn't think too much of it.

When we arrived, my parents were still not home which is unusual because they normally get there before we do. I got Sam set up with a little dinner before I went to call my mother from our home phone. "Hello, this is Jamie," she answered.

"Hi mom, it's Kierra. Why aren't you home yet? I thought the council said you were supposed to be home by six-thirty every night?" I asked impatiently.

"Kierra, calm down. I can't wait until they give you the serene injection. I'm at the hospital because the doctor called and said I needed to be there immediately. I will be home by seven-thirty. Make sure Sam is in bed by then," she replied monotonously.