❁ Finally Writing For Me ❁

Infatuated with the idea of being

I have the guts at this very moment to tell you my friend, that I had developed an infatuation with a boy last year.

And up to this year it still stands.

I fallen for this boy, hard.

It's been so long I seen past all his flaws. Giving every bad thing he has done an excuse so it wouldn't give me another reason to give up on this hope- or whatever I feel.

But I'm just a nobody- that admires him.

He knows who I am, I'm not invisible to his blue- broken glass eyes. He just doesn't choose to identify me.

See I see this person in a way they are not. A person who I would love to be friends with, A person who could possibly close the door on all that haunts me.

A person who I could talk to and not regret talking right after or worry I revealed too much.

A friend. Honestly, I think that's all I want. I want someone to just help.

And in a dream far far away past the second star on the left- light years away, maybe a chance..

A lover? or is that asking too much.

Too much.

I know this- whatever this stuff is has been is all over the place. That's basically my writing, its all over the damn place. That's my mind really- more or less.

I've talked about this special someone that I need to get over, I've talked about needing help from someone directly but it was meant to be written indirectly.

I talked about just needing a friend.

I talked about my haunting things; scratching the surface of course.

God why do I have to think the way the way I think? I wouldn't want it any other way. Well I think I wouldn't. Just maybe a little better- and when I say a little better. I mean Positively.