surrogate labor

Chapter eleven

Misaki sat brooding by the study room window, looking out at the snow-covered neighborhood. Two weeks had passed since the awkward incident. He tried not to dwell on it, but his mind went over his brothers denial. What really bugged the teenager was that the incident had changed Akihiko. Although the man still continued to tend to Misaki's needs, such as fetching him blankets and slippers, helping him up and down the stairs... he no longer made any attempt at physical intimacy. Misaki's hand drifted down to rub circles on his swollen abdomen. One of the twins was playing trampoline on his bladder and the other was punching his bowels. Misaki sighed, propping his elbows on the desk and kneading his temples with his fingers. It had been a challenge getting a proper night's sleep even with the pregnancy pillow that Manami had given him, and his worried only made it worse. The troubled youth reached inside his desk and pulled out his diary, which he used to record his experiences as a gestational surrogate. After flipping it open and staring at the blank page, he picked up his pen and began to write. 

Dear Diary,

Today I won't be updating you on the twins. This entry is going to be different. Last week, something happened and I can't shake it off my mind because it concerns someone very, very important to me. I haven't told you about Usagi-san, have I? I know, it's funny I've been living with this man for a couple of years now, yet I haven't given our relationship much thought. I guess I have been taking it for granted. Did I mention that Usagi-san is really kind to me? He is the kindest person I've ever met. Without his help, I wouldn't be where I am now. If I had to list everything he has done for me I would run out of space. Yet I haven't done anything to repay him and even hurt him sometimes. I can't believe I'm telling you this, but the first time Usagi-san and I did it on his living room sofa, it felt really weird. It has always been a little weird to me but I can't imagine doing it with anyone else. I know Usagi-san is in a turmoil right now. He doesn't want to touch me, probably out of respect for Nii-chan. Even though he knows now because I told him he still seems in denial. I don't know if they even talked at all. All I know is that Usagi-san has changed. I really miss the old Usagi-san, I miss his touch, my day isn't complete without it. Even if it's just ruffling my hair. Since the twins came into my life I have been neglecting Usagi-san, and I know it's not fair to him. I don't blame him for losing control the other day. Usagi-san's dad knows about us. It was a lot easier talking to him. He gave us his blessings, but before that he told me not to be half-hearted about my love for Usagi-san. Usagi-chichi is right: I must no be half-hearted. I'm not really good with words but I have to convince Nii-chan about what I feel for Usagi-san. 

Till next time.

Misaki.

It was the longest entry he had ever written, but when he was done, he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. As he placed the dairy back into the drawer and stretched his aching back, he groaned in annoyance as his bladder demanded attention yer again. Although he had somewhat gotten used to the frequent bathroom trips, today he found he had to go a lot more often, like every fifteen minutes or so. With some difficulty he pushed himself up from the chair and waddled to the bathroom. "Ouch," Misaki winced as he felt a burning sensation upon relieving himself, and was dismayed when only a trickled came out. Dr. Endo had told him that he would have trouble relieving himself as the babies got bigger. "How much worse is this gonna get?" he grumbled as he flushed the toilet. Misaki decided that he would pass the rest of the afternoon reading to his nephews. Returning to the study room, he found Akihiko inside typing away on the computer. He walked as unobtrusively as he could to the nearest book shelf and searched for something suitable. Akihiko's novels were too mature, so he couldn't choose those. the most striking book on the shelf was Best vampire stories of all times. No that would be too scary for the little ones. Then his eyes fell upon a thin book titled Japanese Fairy Tales. He grabbed it, but before leaving for the bedroom, he threw a glance at his guardian, who seemed completely immersed in his work. "Usagi-san," he ventured, hoping he could at least get a conversation going. "Yes?" the silver-haired mand said without looking away from the computer. Misaki knew this wasn't exactly a good time to bring up the topic, but he had to ask. "Do you know what Nii-chan and I talked about when they were here?"