my story

1

"No please!"

                                 ...
BIP BIP BIP

"Mhmmm! Its already 5 a clock! Again the same fckg dream."

I woke up this morning feeling the same way I felt yesterday. The same emptiness. I have felt this emptiness since that night.

Every morning I wake up, put my gym clothes on and go for a run.
Running helps me think, when I run try to remember what my old life looked like.
I remember waking up with a smile on my face. I had one friend,Elena, she was the nicest person I had ever met.
I also remember bieng bullied every day because I wasnt like the society wanted me to be. I suffered from severe acnee and didn't look like those girls that girls admire and boys fantasise about . I was not capable of defending my self and Elena was to afraid of Rose and her little puppy Kathy to help me.
Even thought I was bullied and insecure about my body, I loved my life. I had my mom and my little brother Jonathan,alias "juju", they where enought.
They were enough.

                                  ...
I came back home after my 30 minutes run.
Time to take my shower . I wake up so Early in the morning so that I have time for a long shower.
I am not like other teens of 17, I dont waste my shower by singing to music. I prefer to use it by thinking about my life in general. I hop in the shower. The water is cold, perfect. Just as I want it to be. And I start thinking.

After what happened that night, I Shut everyone out. No one liked it. My mom was the only one that knew, I talked to her. People started calling me  "freak" instead of "the fat one" or "the ugly one" . My mom could not bare to see me like that every day. We moved, i was home schooled. I prefer it that way. Then I started taking boxing classes because I was no more able to look at myself in the mirror without feling disgust. It took me about 1 year to finally be as I always wanted to be. I completly transformed.  Exactelly  what I wanted.

My mom decided that it was time for me to go back to high school, she wanted me to socialize. We moved closer to my old school, the one with all my good and bad memories. 

Today is my first day, I can do this!
I hop out of my shower. I get dressed,  I am wearing a pair of  high wasted black skinny jeans with a lot of holes  on it. Plain black vans and a black crop top hoddie. No make up for me , exept for a little bit of mascara.

" Aby! Come eat your breakfast!" My mom screams .
I run down stairs because I am fkg starving! I only have 15 minutes to eat my breakfast.
I kiss my mom good morning and eat my toast with a giant glass of milk. I go brush my theet and kiss my brother before I jump in my car. Its a 10 minutes ride.

I want to start over. I hope I make at least one friend. I dont want to be the freak again. I pray that no one from my past recognize me. They probably wont. I have changed so much. I dont want to brag but I do have a great body. I have what is neaded where it needs to be. The only thing that might have ruinned my cover is my brown eyes but now I wear contacts. Since I changed my glasses for contacts I figured why not have green eyes.

I am here. I turn my head and all I see are familiar heads! I hope I am not familiar to them. Pray with me.