"My reasons for declaring a sexual preference had to do less with the pursuit of personal freedom than with the lust for pure shock value."- Land Loud
Xavier's POV
There was no suspicions of what happened last night on the news, which relieved me and yet worried me. I then felt like a terrible human being- scratch that a terrible friend. I was supposed to be there for him. But I wasn't.
"You're stressed. Do you have any temptations?" Vanessa then asked me, she had her moments when she had the right to ask me questions along those lines, because she was still my doctor and not just my sub.
"None at all, trust me." I groan as I prepare myself for work, I was trembling that I couldn't even adjust my tied. "Fuck!" I exclaim and run my hands through my hair. Vanessa sighs and walks up in front of me, only wearing my t-shirt as she fixed my tie for me and kissed my bottom lip. "Talk to me Master, what's wrong?" She asks and sat down on the bed behind me.
How could I tell her? I went and got more drugs last night? I then went to Adrienne's house and opened up to her about who I was? I had feelings for her? Slight feelings, that was caused by lust but that was it?
"Work is just stressful." I end up saying which was a complete lie. I was such a terrible Dominant at this point as well, what was I supposed to do now? "How's Adrienne? Is She still acting like a..." Her voice trails off and I turn behind me to see her wincing to herself. "You're really that jealous of her?" I whisper and Vanessa looks up at me with lost eyes. She seems ashamed and at that moment, I realize her position in my life.
Vanessa was my submissive- Adrienne was not. "We've been together for some time now and I feel like you don't care for me. I safeworded the other day because...." Vanessa looks down at her hands and I see tears fill her eyes. "Because why?" I ask, my heart racing at what she was about to tell me, I had been wondering for some time now and she hasn't said anything about the situation which concerned me.
"Let me prepare your lunch Master," She says with a nod, properly dismissing herself away from my presence.
I had mixed feeling about everything that was going on, especially my struggling addiction.
When I arrived to work, I noticed that Adrienne was limping, which made me frown, what happened once I left? "Are you alright?" I ask her and she seems almost dazed, "Did someone hurt you?" I ask her and she snorts through her nose and turns from me, holding her coffee. "I guess you could say that." She pauses and observes my exterior. "What about you? Did you get in safely?" She asks me and I nod, "Thank you again for last night, you really helped me out," I say truthfully as she stumbles off to her office in which I follow her. "Did Vanessa finish the job?" She asks me and I cringe to myself, suddenly realizing that maybe that's why Adrienne was so sore.
"Hardly," I mutter and her phone rings, I see Adrienne's face as it scrunches up at the number. "I have to take this." She mumbles and turns her back from me. I frown and glance up at her as I hear her sigh shakily. "Listen, I told you to leave me the hell alone." She growls into the reciever and I feel my natural tendency to overprotect take over and I approached her and she shooed me away.
Clearly not wanting to be bothered with me.
"I don't care!" She shouts and ends the call with a groan. She holds her hand to the back of her hand, her tattoo in view.
"Who was that?" I ask, trying to sound as calm as possible, even though I really wanted to hunt down the person bothering her and end his life.
Why was I acting like this? I had no idea.
"No one." She mumbles and folds her arms across her chest, wincing as she does. "Adrienne, who is bothering you? Talk to me." I practically plead and she scrunched her face up, looking at me in disgust for a moment. "Since when do you care?" She spits harshfully at me.
Since last night...
"Adrienne, we work together, I need to know so this won't run into my business." That was my excuse for everything- business.
"Listen, just worry about your sub and leave my issues to me." She says and I chuckle. "Leave it to you or leave it to Asher?" I ask her and her eyes widen in disbelief.
"Are you insulting Asher?" She asks and I flinch back. "Of course not. I just don't think he can give you what you need."
In fact, I envied Asher, and as a man, envying another guy is infuriating. It causes men to lash out- I saw him as a threat and I was jealous because he was with her. She was so open and caring.
She really tended to her submissives...
"You don't know what I need or what I look for. I suggest, you stay in your place before you piss me off." She growls.
"I know what most females need." I mumble and she slams her hands down on the desk.
"Well I'm not most females. I'm dominant not submissive. And since I know this lifestyle up and down, I know that you shouldn't be talking to me like this. In a disclosed Dom/Sub relationship, all you should be thinking about is Vanessa!" She practically tells and I chuckle.
"In an ideal format perhaps I should. I'm not in love with her, this is a contract and not a relationship. I do as please the dominant or perhaps you forgotten that part?" I tease and cock my head to the side. I see that fuels her anger and she scowls at me.
"What are you hiding? What's really the root of your situation? Because by your behavior it makes me wonder of you've always been the dominant one." Her sudden question makes me now pull away.
I was suddenly becoming quite uncomfortable with the subject.
"Alright Adrienne, I'll leave you alone." I mumble and was for the door.
"No, now I want to talk about this, are you submissive or dominant?" She asks but I don't answer. I just get out of her room as soon as possible."
~*~*~*
Sorry for the delay babies.
Next few chapters shall be interesting. If you haven't already go check out my new sexy novel Impulse (it's a teacher and student relationship)
And also Letters To Romeo
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