i can't explain

adronitis

living is short.
we all know that.
so why does it take so long
to fully get to know someone?

i don't know about you,
but i certainly know
the frustrations
of ten pm conversations
where you're both still talking
about some stupid class and
not of the feelings
you can't seem to get out.

there is a boy i've known for two years.
we talk,
but he's shy.
i'm shy.
we talk,
but not about the meaningful stuff.

"how are you doing today?"
"omg what was this history homework?"
"nahhhh you're not that childish."
well fuck man i wish we could talk more.

i wish all conversations were like
three am conversations
the same laxness
and validity.
where everyone is honest
and talking about what's on their mind
with no care for the rest of the world.

i wish we could lie next to each other
maybe holding hands
laughing at the other's jokes
sharing our secrets with one another
in the dark without fear.

i wish it were true.

i wish we could take it from the start
maybe like a profile you read when you meet
of their deepest secrets
and fears.
of course then they wouldn't be secrets no more,
just words on a page.

and that's the hard part.
how does one get to know someone quickly
without reducing the relationship to nothing
but a piece of paper
with ink on the page
without feelings?

i'm not sure.
i just know it sucks, man.
maybe one day i'll figure it out.

so until then,
it'll be small talk
at ten pm,
and truth or dare at four.
and then
we'll just do it over
and over
and over
again.