Love can be sick - R.S.L

11

First published : March 18, 2017
Last updated : April 7, 2020

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Andy's POV

Me and Ross were cleaning up the house for when C and his kids arrive. Ross was cleaning the rooms upstairs in case his nephew and niece wanted to head up there.

I was wiping the counter in the kitchen when Ross walked into the room.

"I was cleaning up your room and I found this under your pillow." He said holding up a rubber band that had blood spots on it, the blood was dried up though.

My heart jumped a tiny bit, he wasn't supoose to find that. I looked to the floor. Ross walked towards me and set the rubber band on the counter. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Please, I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore." He whispered in my ear.

"I don't need you worrying about me. We should be worrying about you." I said lifting Ross's head so I could look into his eyes.

"Andy..." He stopped, like didn't know what else to say to me.

All of a sudden the doorbell rang. Ross went to go answer it. I turned back to look at the rubber band. I last used it a few nights ago. I couldn't find any more razors and Ross locked the knives up so that they can only be used when we're cooking.

I picked it up and threw it in the trash. I went to the door to see Ross being tackled by the two and a half year old twins.

Ross and the kids were laughing. I smiled, I've missed seeing Ross's smile. He hasn't smiled genuinely since...the accident. And that was around seven weeks ago.

I said to them, "Kids, let your Uncle Ross breathe."

They looked up at me and shouted "Ann'y!"

They ran to me and started hugging my legs. I chuckled and picked them both up with a bit of struggle. C walked through the doorway and helped Ross up.

"Ella, Randy, don't choke your uncle." He said.

I set the twins back down on the floor and I hugged C. He hugged back and I saw Ross started coughing.

I gave him a worried look but he waved it off, a way of saying he's fine.

Ross cleared his throat, "So who wants to eat?" He asked after his coughing fit. The twins' faces seemed to lighten up even more at the mention of food.

···

Timeskip

The twins went to the living room to watch TV. Me, Ross, and C were just talking at the dinner table.

"So what has happened here since.......you know." C asked quietly.

Ross leaned back in his chair.

"Just some personal things. Mostly stuff dealing with Andy though."

"Ross please." I whispered looking at him. I didn't feel like talking about my problems. Not while the kids are in the other room. I don't want them to accidently hear anything, even though they probably won't remember after a day or two.

C furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean? Andy what's wrong?"

"Nothing, everything's fine." I lied, crossing my arms.

"That is a total lie right there." Ross pointed at me. Why was he insisting on this?

"Ross just drop it." I sneered.

"No! He's our friend. He should to know."

"I should know what?" C asked.

"Please no." I begged Ross. I saw a tiny bit of guilt flash through Ross's eyes.

"I would start with looking at his arms." Ross said glaring at me.

C got the idea and he looked at me. I felt uncomfortable. I slump down in my seat, avoiding eye contact.

"Andy......show me your wrists." He ordered calmly.

"I can't." I refused

"Andy don't make me force you." C warned.

I bit my lip and moved my long hair out of my face. I pulled up my sleeve and slowly turned my arm over. C took a sharp inhale, seeing how many scars there was.

Ross stood up. "I'm gonna check on the kids." He said quietly.

Now it was just me and C.

"Andy why?" He looked at me sympathetically

'He's a friend, just tell him' I tell myself. Besides, telling Luke and Micah about my.....wrists would be the hardest to do I feel like. I've known them longer than I've known anyone else. They're like family to me.

I take a deep breath, my fingers fiddling with the sleeve of my shirt, "Because of everything. The crash, me always getting drunk, and also being the cause of something deadly to my friend. I don't want what happened before to happen again. And I'm so scared to lose him too. I love him so much. I don't know what I would do if I lost him." Tears started falling from my eyes.

"Come here." C gestured to his open arms.

I immediately hugged him and quietly wept into his chest.

"I'm sorry." I muttered.

"It's okay Andy. But from now on you've got to stay strong, for Ross, for your other friends, for yourself. Ross...he can't go through this cancer thing alone, he needs you. And you need him. We're all here for the both of you. I know you and I are not that close of friends but if you ever need to talk-"

Suddenly Randy comes waddling into the room.

"Uncle Woss fell down an' he not wakin' up."