It's Only Us, Forever

It's So Awkward

The first time is always awkward. It's perfectly normal. At least, that's what they told me. I've always known this. I just never realised it would be this....awkward. I want to show her that I love her. I want to make her mine. I want to make her happy. We both agreed to show each other how much we love each other. We are only highschoolers but we feel so much towards each other. This is our last year in highschool. I want to make this last year worth while for her. She deserves it. She deserves the best that I can give her.

I can hear her light breathing. It's almost silent. The room is dark and we're alone. It's 11:38PM according to the red blinking light on my digital clock. She wants it just as much as I do, yet here we are just sitting on the foot of my bed. I can hear her swallowing her spit nervousley. My eyes turn towards her. I can barely make out her fiddleing with her hands in the dark. We've sat like this for at least 20 minutes. The intensity we've built up makes it hard to breath. It's such an awkward silence. We haven't said a thing to each other since we came in here. It's just.....awkward.

Another half hour passes before I'm finally tired of waiting. I am the man right? I'm suppose to make the first move. Maybe that's what she was waiting for. Maybe it's my fault we've sat like this for so long. I decide to man up and make the first move. My hand moves over to grab hers. If my hand wasn't sweaty before, it is now. My hand softly grasps hers and I realise I'm not the only one that's sweating from nervousness. Her breath gets caught in her throat. She turns her head to stare at our hands before looking up at me. I smile at her.

She seems hesitant but she smiles back at me. We're so incredibly tense it's almost funny. I suddenly realise how dry my mouth is. I lick my lips before slowly leaning into her. She doesn't seem to notice at first. But when she notices she does what she always does. She shrinks into herself,like a turtle, before slowly easing into me. I try to guide her as softly as I can. I ease her onto her back slowly. Her hands come up and grip my forearms. Slow down. She says silently. I, like a dog, obey her every command.

Her grip on my arms loosen. My hands are simply placed right above her shoulders to keep myself up. I give her slow, sweet kisses. She lets go of my left arm and lowers her hand to her side. I use my free hand to cup her right cheek. I guide her into a trail of feather like kisses. She lifts herself up to press her lips harder into mine. More.

Her right hand suddenly rests on the back of my head. My hand drifts cautiously to her hip. She's like a deer. A beautiful deer. You walk on egg shells around her just so that you don't spook her. I don't want to scare her. We have all the time we need. I'm willing to wait for her if she wants me to. I wasn't kidding when I said I love her.

Our lips press harder and before we know it our tongues are pressing against each other. They slide together in a breath taking motion. Our instincts take over and we begin breathing through our noses. We don't stop. Her hand grips the back of my head and my hand is rubbing her hip. Our noses bump into each other occasionally.

I break the kiss to lift her up and place her onto the middle of the bed. Our somewhat heavily breathing fills the space around us. We both sit up and stare at each other for a few minutes. Our cheeks flush a soft pinkish color. She shakily begins to try and unbutton my shirt. It falls away and slides slowly off the bed. She brightens in color at the newly revealed skin.

I simply smile at her. I grab her hands and put them on my chest. She shrinks into herself in embarrassment. I chuckle softly at how cute she looks. My forehead lands on hers. Our eyes stare mesmerized into each others. Our lips press together and our eyes drop shut. My hands slide up her arms to grip her shoulders.It's now that I notice her taste. She doesn't exactly have a definable taste. The best way I can describe it is the taste of too sweet lemon tea. It's sugary and bitter at the same time. I'm not really sure whether I love or like the taste. It's kind of an odd sensation to be honest.