Twenty-eight

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Skylers POV
We've been sitting in traffic for about an hour and haven't moved. "Now can we talk?" He asked. I choked. "Um...yeah sure." He turned off the radio, "I've had time to think, and re-read all of the texts." "What are you trying to say?" "I miss you. I still love you." "But I ruined us why would you want to be with me?" "Because I still love you. I've always loved you. And I need to ask you one question, just one." "Ok. Go ahead." "Do you still love me? Cause I still love you." I looked down, "what's love anymore? Is it when someone that you "love" cheats on you like a stupid little puta would? You shouldn't love me." "But I can't let go of you." "Well sometimes holding on hurts you more than letter go." I looked out the window and tried to hold back my tears. I couldn't hold on anymore and broke down crying. He dropped me off. "Don't look back. Don't look back." I said to myself. I looked back and he had already left. I went inside and started to pack. It was already one. I decided to stay up until 4 and just sleep on the plane. I wasn't to tired anyways. I put on some music. I went on social media and decided to make a YouTube video.
"Hey guys it's Skyler. Now I know this isn't my normal setup but it's been hard..." I paused. "Long story short I fucked up. I hurt people and I shouldn't have hurt them. My life has completely turned upside down. I cut my wrist I tried to kill myself and I didn't even feel bad. I hurt myself and other people." I looked down, "sometimes I feel like I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I feel like everything I do ends up hurting other people. I have really bad anxiety, I'm a very anxious person. I have bad panic attacks. Sometimes all I wanna do is cry and I let my emotions and fear take over my body and all I do is cry and it's hard to stop. It just feels so good letting out all of the emotions sometimes. The one thing that doesn't feel good is when your anger turns into tears..." I choked. "I had a lot of anger built up over the years, especially after my mom gave me up for adoption. Yeah I was a baby but I felt like she didn't even want to have me. She put me through hell and I called it love. There was no love. I thought that she didn't have money and that I would be better off without her and that wasn't the case. She didn't want me at all. She never wanted me. Don't be like me. Don't end up like me cause there's so much good ahead. There's so much more to life and you can't end it over something little. There are bright days ahead but you need to make past those dark and cloudy days for the good to come out of them. Don't end it over nothing. Be proud of who you are and what you do. There's only one person like you and there'll never be another..." with that I ended it. I decided to just post it without editing. After it finished I looked at the time and it was 2 I decided to put on something comfortable.

I got a FaceTime call

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I got a FaceTime call. Grayson. I picked up and put my phone on the dresser. "Hey." He said. "Hey." I said while walking to the bathroom. "Now you're leaving?" He asked while laughing. I came back out and waved my toothbrush in the air. "Oh ok." "What's up?" I asked. "I'm gonna pick you up at 3:40." "Oh ok." "So what are you doing?" "Finishing packing." "Oh I just started." "Typical Grayson." I said while laughing. "I saw the video." He said. "Oh you did?" "Yep." "Ok." "You didn't ruin my life." "Yes I did cause I kissed him when I should've been kissing you." "Yeah but..." I cut him off. "Just drop it please." I walked to get my sneakers. "I'm sorry." He said. "Why should you be sorry." "Because I let you go." "No I did." "I'm gonna start waking up the girls and I'll be there soon." "Ok bye." "Bye."

We got to the airport and checked in. We went through security and went to go get pancakes. After we ate we started walking towards the gate. Ethan was sitting with the girls and me and Grayson we sitting together. We got on the plane and I was so tired. Gray gave me the window seat. I sat down and put on my headphones and waited for this flight to be over. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, I looked and it was Grayson. I missed this. But I don't deserve this...

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