Sweet Prisoner

Chapter 2 - Lily

Lily p.o.v
When I was done putting away the groceries that I just bought earlier I went straight into my room and lay down on my bed. I was really exhausted today because of my job "its so hard to be a waiter" I said to myself because I work at a lolita cafe near the central park. I thought it was fun at first the anime, cute dress and the desserts but most of our customers are dirty perverts who are interested in cute young looking maid girl " I really hate that job" I said to myself as I hug my pink stuff bunny name 'cuddles' which I won in a carnival game. I was glad that tomorrow would be Saturday and that means I can sleep as long as I want.

"Today cuddles I met our new neighbor Ash" I said to her as I raise her high above looking directly at her eyes "He seems pretty nice but sadly to say you cannot meet him" I said to her because it will be very embarrassing for him to see my stuff toys "But maybe one day you'll meet him" I said to her it was getting pretty late I was about to go to sleep and I Try by closing my eyes but no matter what I tried I could not fall asleep "I wish I found that medicine" I said to myself because I was able to find my normal medicine but the new one I wasn't able to find it.

Maybe I could write on my Diary to make me sleepy I thought to myself as I got up and open the light I went to my desk where my Diary was and I sat on my chair and open the small lock on my Diary and I started writing.

'Dear diary today I have met my new neighbors Ash he seems pretty nice, he works at my old job at the XOXO club and he's a guitarist there and we both go to the same university. He quite funny yet his a gentleman and it would be nice to be friends with him but...sadly to say with my Phobia I am unable to do that...I want to but I can't...You know sometimes I ask myself why do I have Philophobia 'fear of falling in love or beloved' its so sad to be me.
I can't be love and I'm not allow to love either its such a pain too but its for the best I guess I mean back when I was young I wanted to meet my prince charming who will always love me, care for me and protect me but will all know its just a fantasy and I don't need one of those what I do need now the most is a friend'

After I was done writing on my diary I lock it and hide the key inside Cuddles and I was currently resting my head on the palm of my head and I was staring at an old picture that I drew a long time ago. It was a picture of a girl and a boy sitting side by side from each other.

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"You know Lily I think its best if you start making friends" I remember what my psychiatrist told me "I know you have a bad past but don't let it stop you from making friends" He told me as I sat on the couch near the window yet unable to look at his eyes but I manage to say what I needed to say "My Phobia..." I said in a whisper tone "I know your phobia Lily and I know that you are capable of conquering it..."

"I don't know Doc..." My Phobia can trigger my panic attacks and no one is capable of calming me down except me and if I didn't calm down I can literally die "Lily...Do you know what I see in you?"

"No...what?" I asked him "I see a young beautiful girl who is capable of doing anything what she wants. A girl who is kind, caring and thoughtful to others...I see a girl who is brave and would risk anything for someone else...I should know you've done the same thing for me remember?"

I let out small giggle like it was a sigh "heh..Yeah I remember"

"Lily I know your scared but don't let your phobia control you, Fight it!"

"I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it?"

"Then try...even if it hurts to the point of dying...it better to try than to give up because you're phobia is already killing you from the inside...Live..."

"...I'll try..."

"Don't try Lily...DO IT"

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